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RETIREMENT & LIFESTYLE PLANNING | |
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| ISSUE - 22 - Autumn 2005/2006 | |
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GIVING the gift of life
A life was not just changed but saved with Colleen Gilbey's gift of a kidney to her ailing elder brother.
My story starts 13 years before the operation in which I gifted one of my kidneys to my brother, Kevin. Now 60, Kevin had suffered nephritis at the age of 20 but struggled on for many years with one kidney after the other failed. Never really well, he still managed to have three children – and to become a successful abalone diver.
Many times while diving he had to take off his mask to vomit, but kept going. Then, when he was 47, Kevin's second kidney began to fail. It was time for his siblings to take the test to see if one of us could donate a kidney. My eldest sister, Marie, and I came through the tests with flying colours. I was the better match, but, because I had two young children at the time, it was decided to go with Marie's.
Unfortunately, after three weeks there were signs of rejection, although the kidney did survive for 13 years. But Kevin's health was never great and when I visited him just before Christmas 2004 I realised just how sick he had become. I asked him what I should do to get the next transplant arranged but he said no, he didn't want to put another sister through the ordeal.
So I put my foot down. He had three grown-up daughters and six grandchildren to live for, plus the fantastic house he and his wife were building in Surfers Paradise, a project in which he'd completely lost interest. I was determined to donate.
Kevin's kidney finally failed in June and he went on dialysis. He was still adamant about not having the transplant (I'd already arranged for the testing to get underway) but the five-days-a-week dialysis soon changed his mind!
Our transplant was performed in Melbourne on 5 October 2005, through an open nephrectomy. Within one hour of his recovery, Kevin was passing urine through the catheter, drinking orange juice and watching the cricket. He couldn't believe it. Afterwards they told us we were a perfect match, like identical twins!
It took me a good eight weeks to get back on track and even now I get daily reminders from my body that it's undergone some major surgery – those stomach crunches I did this morning were a real mistake! But it's only a gentle reminder, and I'm told even that will be gone within 12 months.
And it's a reminder of something really good. About two months after the operation we attended a family wedding and both Kevin and I were dancing, socialising, laughing and eating and drinking normally. The family couldn't believe how well Kev looked. They said it was the first time in 30 years he had looked so well and happy – it really was magic to see him on the dance floor. Marie was especially pleased to see him well again and now, of course, there are lots of family jokes, comparing scars.
And he's now throwing himself back into building the house – and to renovating hot rods, which is his passion.
Kevin gets very emotional about the whole transplant, but summed it up in one line: “Thank you, darling, for giving me my life back”. What more could I ask for?
To anyone considering donating a kidney, I'd say: go for it, if the conditions are right. In fact, it's becoming more common because tissue-typing techniques have become much better so they're now able to identify more compatible live donors.
Apart from a supportive family, one thing you do need is good employers like mine, who were prepared to allow me (paid) time off for testing and six weeks' recuperation. Other costs to donors are minimal – the health system covers all the tests, surgery and care and, if you live in a remote area, in some states you can get help with travel costs through a program called the Isolated Patient Travel and Accommodation Scheme (IPTAAS). Another thing that really helped me was a chat-room for kidney donors I found on the internet. It was important to be able to talk to people who had been in the same situation.
There's an amusing footnote to this story. I work in publishing and recently attended a ball hosted by Harlequin Mills & Boon. There I found out that Kevin and I are now the stars of an upcoming title, The Surgeon's Special Gift. Mind you, our characters are much younger (I'm 21!) and I fall in love with the surgeon. The great thing is that the proceeds will be donated to Kidney Health Australia – and there'll be a tear-out slip in the back of the book for potential donors to fill in. If this story can save even one more life, it has all been more than worthwhile
More
To find out more about kidney health and becoming a kidney donor, contact Kidney Health Australia, a non-profit organisation that promotes kidney and urinary tract health through research, advocacy and research.
Ph (03) 9674 4300
Web www.kidney.org.auColleen also recommends
www.umm.edu/nephrology/index.html, the website of the University of Maryland Medical Centre.To find out about becoming an organ donor in Australia and to register:
• pick up a donor register brochure and registration form at your local Medicare office
• call 1800 777 203 or email aodr@medicareaustralia.gov.au
• visit www.medicareaustralia.gov.au and click on ‘Australian Organ Donor Register'.
For the kidney donor chat-room recommended by Colleen, visit
www.livingdonorsonline.orgThe Isolated Patient Travel and Accommodation Scheme (IPTAAS) is a ‘referral only' service available in some states. Check its availability and your eligibility with your GP or specialist.
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