Anybody know any Christmas Jokes?

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Anybody know any Christmas Jokes?

5 yrs ago

Let's brighten up the YLC Forum for Christmas.

It was Christmas Eve in at the meat counter and a woman was anxiously picking over the last of the few remaining Turkeys in the hope of finding a large one. In desperation she called over the shop assistant and said, "Excuse me, do these Turkeys get any bigger"? "No Madam, he replied, "They're all dead".

Q. Why does Santa go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?

A. Because it soots him.

What about, Breaking news from Egypt:

they've found a tomb covered in nuts and chocolate.

Experts say it was a Pharaoh Rocher.

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25 comments

Image result for hilarious christmas cartoons

Lucca

5 yrs ago

Maybe he had too much Catbernet. LOL

RnR

5 yrs ago

Good one.

HOLA

5 yrs ago

He laid her on the table, so white clean and bare, his forehead wet with beads of sweat, he rubbed her here and there.

He touched her neck and then her breasts, and then drooling felt her thigh. The slit was wet and all was set, he gave a joyous cry.

The hole was wide, he looked inside, all was dark and murky. He rubbed his hands and stretched his arms,

And then he stuffed the turkey.

Image result for wow smiley animated gif

toot2000

5 yrs ago

Mrs Brown’s sticky situation

https://youtu.be/tjJc8xLYhak

RnR

5 yrs ago

LOL

HOLA

5 yrs ago

Toot - That was so funny.

RnR

5 yrs ago

Hide your christmas turkeys folks,

Image result for fox eating christmas turkey

This should have been a joke but wasn't, 'Driver fined for having Father Christmas as an unsecured load after Morgan Xmas pageant'.

Next posting for the cop to be Marla? Then where?

HOLA

5 yrs ago

There are a lot of sad people out there that love to cause mischief by dobbing in others. Poor Santa was making many people happy. He could have received a caution without the fine. A friend of mine got a letter from the police giving her a fine for throwing a cigarette out of her car window. Somebody took her number plate down and reported her, the funny thing was, she doesn't even smoke!! She appealed but she still had to pay the fine. She thinks it was probably the car in front of her's that did it.

Daisy

5 yrs ago

Hola, that is a disgusting law because people are automatically deemed guilty before innocent. Happened to a friend of mine, also a non smoker, and she was told by the EPA letter informing of the fine that she could appeal but that very few appeals are successful. She did appeal with no success so decided to challenge in court. Got letters of support from friends, letter from doctor confirming she was a non smoker and asked the local MP for help too. The EPA then decided to let her off so she didn’t have to go to court after all. It appears that innocent people are being reported by others for reasons of spite? Anyone can be reported and fined without any proof of guilt.

Daisy

5 yrs ago

EPA stands for Environmental Protection Authority (or Agency).

The story is that the cop who busted Santa had a reputation prior to that incident. It wasn't a dob-in. The cop was writing a ticket for someone already when the float went by. Lucky he was there, huh?

HOLA

5 yrs ago

Robi - Your friend was lucky to have got off. I wonder if my friend's offence would be recorded as a traffic infringement and lose points? I haven't seen her for a couple of years.

Daisy

5 yrs ago

Hola, I don’t know if she would have lost points. My friend said nothing about points so I think it was just a fine, ...but it was a large fine, all on the basis of what some stranger said she did which was untrue. I think eventually it was the MP intervention that got her off.

RnR

5 yrs ago

Image result for hilarious santa jokes

Hahaha, time santa ditched the reindeer

Image result for santa and gps

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Anybody know any Christmas Jokes?

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