Snippets that amuse me

Never, never confess to someone that you’ve forgotten what they’re called.

The soul-shrivelling experience of a former newspaper colleague taught me that. In the early 1960s, Bob Hutchings was a young Fleet Street reporter yearning to work for a big American title.

He landed an interview with the editor of the Los Angeles Times and flew to California. Arriving at their offices on a November afternoon, he immediately sensed a strained atmosphere.

The receptionist giving him his pass had clearly been weeping. Upstairs, the editor’s PA had mascara streaking her cheeks as she pressed the intercom. ‘The English guy is here, sir.’ Bob stared at her. ‘What’s going on?’ he asked. ‘Everyone seems really upset.’ She stared back. ‘Haven’t you heard? Our president’s been shot!’

It never occurred to him she meant Kennedy. He thought she was talking about the head of the LA Times and silently cursed as he tried and failed to remember his name. Next moment, the harassed editor appeared. ‘

C’mon in, Bob. Heard the news? About our president?’ Bob sank into a chair and nodded. ‘Yes. How awful.’ He decided to play it straight. ‘I’m so sorry… I don’t recall his name. What was it?’

Two minutes later, the ace reporter was bundled out on to the street. He was probably the only journalist flying out of the United States on 22 November 1963 while the rest of Planet Hack was pouring in.

 

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                                 WOMEN WHO READ

 

A couple went on vacation to a fishing resort up north. The husband liked to fish at the crack of dawn. The wife liked to read. One morning the husband returned after several hours of fishing and decided to take a short nap. Although she wasn't familiar with the lake, the wife decided to take the boat. She rowed out a short distance, anchored, and returned to reading her book. Along came the sheriff in his boat. He pulled up alongside her and said, "Good morning Ma'am. What are you doing?" "Reading my book," she replied...as she thought to herself, "isn't it obvious?" "You're in a restricted fishing area," he informed her. "But officer, I'm not fishing, Can't you see that?", she said. "Yes, but you have all the equipment. I'll have to take you in and write you up." replied the sheriff. "If you do that, I'll have to charge you with rape," snapped the irate woman. "But I haven't even touched you." groused the sheriff. "Yes, that's true," she replied, "but you do have all the equipment.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who knows how to read. It's likely she can also think.

Ha ha, really enjoyed this Fleur :)

had a wry grin on my face tonight when i saw the news,   GEOFFERY AND WHATS HER NAME,   had there photos taken in SANTA suits,      what next,    at least they are good for a laugh,  albiet unintentionable,

ABBEY,   how could you,lol lol,       did you hear them on the news saying they are about to start a family,   lets hope not,   what hope would the poor little bliter have,    coming into that family,  BUT i suppose it takes all kinds,  whatever floats your boat ,

ACTUALLY,  he does look like a little elf,

Wrong side of history: If someone says you’re on the wrong side of history, it is their smug and stupid way of telling you that you are wrong and they are right, no more. Conservatism is always on the wrong side of history because it is innately opposed to profound social change. Social change is always good, you see, even when it is utterly calamitous or pointless or unnecessary.

Let me absolutely clear about this, :
Any politician who tells you that he is about to be absolutely clear about anything is actually about to lie to you and probably steal your spoons.
It also suggests to me that they are anything but clear in their own minds as to what the hell they are talking about, especially if they say it with great emphasis while banging their fists on the table.
As used by Bill Shorten on a daily basis, probably to his family about what he’s having for breakfast, as well as to the rest of us about other stuff.

 only thing they are absolutely clear about is picking up there own BIG wage packet every week,   anything else should be taken with a grain of salt,  i have never been disgusted with ALL parties,   i have no idea who to vote for,   no one has said anything about the polocys i care about,  might vote for the redhead if she comes back,     has to be better than whats there now, 

There is no choice Yon gotta vote for out Tone , doing a great job of fixing Rudd /Gillard/ Rudd mess ..

 

 

             

looks like it pete,  but whats his polocy on STATE SCHOOLS,   on LIVETRADE,   ,where i live ,  there is no state school left,   the children from south melb. and port have to travel to albert park for school,    a loooong way,   the live trade, i dont think any of them care,       some are saying they will open the tech schools again,   whats the point when there are no jobs,  and will be less in future as everything is sold off,   and forien workers coming to take what jobs there are,      im not very political,  and a lot goes over my head,   but i know what i believe in and what i want,  and none of them seem to have the answers i want,

Saturday I finally got around to addressing one of those blindspots which never quite seem worth bothering with.
It was St Cecilia’s Day. But who was she?
Apart from knowing that she’d inspired a wonderful mass by Gounod, and having once had to plough through Dryden’s ‘Song for St Cecilia’s Day’ in an exam, I had no idea.
I looked her up. Odd bird. She is revered for having persuaded her husband not to consummate their marriage, which — understandably perhaps — led him to seek the solace of religion.
Despite an executioner swinging an axe through her neck three times, Cecilia somehow survived for a further three days. She had previously spent a day and night sitting in a bath of flames, without breaking sweat. When she died, her body did not decompose. She’s the patron saint of music.
Jeremy Paxton

Cecilia, you're breaking my heart

Shaking my confidence, baby...

 

Oh sorry, this is not the music thread

Could be as she was the patroness or whatever , but then again Herr Fleur would bash us ..,

Sexual frustration can do strange things to a woman's psyche.

My best friends wife told me so, when she came over for her daily afternoon visits while her old man was at work

Yes I could understand I used to suffer the same , when I was younger, when my wife was at work..,

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