Quick fix for a desperate drunk?

We’ve been asking people about the dodgy customer antics they’ve seen in supermarkets, and Jon recalls several years ago seeing a chap drink a bottle of vanilla essence.

“In the 1990s, vanilla essence had a very strong alcohol component. This bloke of advanced years unscrewed a bottle and downed it.

“Then he had a second bottle.

“I informed the staff, but they weren’t interested.”

And MJM watched a young woman swap the cage eggs for free range eggs.

“I take my eggs from the back now.”

•••

YourLifeChoices members are an honest lot.

We recently told you about Jan who found an envelope in the street with several thousand dollars in it and how she handed it in at the nearest police station. We asked if you think she did the right thing.

Fifteen people replied and all said she did.

Casey, however, wasn’t quite as sure, but for a different reason.

“I once found a wallet with cash, licence and credit cards. The male owner didn’t live too far away, so I decided to take it to the house.

“I knocked on the door and a lady answered. I handed her the wallet and she said it belonged to her husband.

“She then proceeded to give me the third degree about where and when I found it. She said it was impossible for her husband to have lost it in that particular area.

“I think her husband probably got in a bit of trouble when he got home, and I never got any thanks. He probably wished I’d kept the wallet and my mouth shut.”

•••

Giving and receiving Christmas cards isn’t a bygone tradition, but it’s certainly not what it used to be.

And perhaps that’s a good thing. Brenda certainly thinks so. She said she read an article two years back on something called Commercial Waste, a website specialising in waste and recycling, and she’s never forgotten it.

“The article estimated that if all the Christmas cards in England were placed end to end, they’d stretch around the world 500 times.

“It also said that the British used enough wrapping paper to wrap up the Isle of Jersey.

“That’s a lot of waste, so now I send Christmas emails and I don’t wrap the grandkids’ presents. I put them in Christmas stockings unwrapped.

“I also try to buy presents that don’t come in plastic wrapping and I make my own bonbons using cotton serviettes. They don’t go bang, but the adults have jokes written in theirs while the kids get a letter from Santa telling them where a present is hidden.”

•••

Rob lives in suburban Melbourne and every year for the past decade he has been receiving a Christmas card from somebody he doesn’t know.

“They’re addressed to the previous owners of this house. There’s never a return address or surname, so I can’t tell them to stop sending them.”

So if your names are Ruth and Marcus, you need to update your mailing list.

That reminds us of the comedian Billy Connolly, who once met a chap who said: “You send me a Christmas card every year.”

Connolly hadn’t updated his address book, but the chap didn’t want to tell him because he liked getting a card every year from one of the world’s great performers.

•••

“I know I’m getting older,” says Terry, “because I need both hands to push and pull myself out of the car.”

“And I know I’m getting old,” says Sid, “because I grunt whenever I have to bend down to reach below my ankles.”

•••

Your kids can probably remember the McDonald’s slogan which came out in the US in 1974, but not in Australia until the mid-1980s. It went: “Two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun.”

But how many of you can recall the Wittner shoeman? He used to come around to schools and give a badge to anyone who could recite a verse of the Wittner slogan.

Judy can remember the first two lines, but is hoping somebody can help with the last two.

“I know it started: ‘Happy children by the score, coming from a Wittner store…’ but I don’t remember the rest.

“Something of an unsung hero is the Wittner shoe company. It has been around since 1912, not that this ditty goes back quite that far.”

Tell us …
Do you have a story, anecdote, memory or photo to share with other YourLifeChoices members? Do you know someone with a milestone birthday or anniversary coming up? Email [email protected].

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Written by Perko

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