Online dating has become a common way to connect, especially for Australians who are seeking companionship, friendship, or even just a chat.
But as these digital doors open, they can sometimes expose us to risks that we don’t always expect.
Jack Jacobs’ story is a powerful reminder that not every match is what it seems—and that caution is essential.
A date turned dangerous
Jack was 24 when he planned to meet a man he had connected with on Grindr, a well-known app for gay and bisexual men to find dates and build connections.
It was February 2020, and like many others, Jack was hopeful about the possibility of making a new connection.
But when he arrived at the agreed location in East Melbourne, he instantly sensed something was wrong.
‘I just knew something was off,’ Jack recalls. Before he could react, a group of eight or nine teenagers rushed at him.
He tried to run, but they caught up quickly, throwing him to the ground and kicking him repeatedly—including in the head.
He called Triple-0, and a young woman who saw he was distressed stayed with him until emergency services arrived.
He was taken to Alfred Hospital, where he received treatment for injuries to his face, wrist and legs.
What was first thought to be a bruised knee turned out to be two torn ligaments—an injury that still causes him pain years later.
Hiding the truth from those closest to him
But Jack’s physical injuries weren’t the only wounds. For years, he didn’t tell anyone the real story.
He told friends and family he had been randomly attacked while walking home.
‘I was too ashamed,’ he says. ‘I didn’t want anyone to judge me. I was just looking for food, not a hookup. But I knew how people could view it.’
It wasn’t until a recent interview on Network Ten’s The Project that Jack finally opened up—sharing the truth with his loved ones and the broader public.
The response was largely supportive, but not everyone was kind. ‘One former colleague said, “Knowing Jack, he probably deserved what he got,”’ he recalls.
It’s a sharp reminder of the stigma and victim-blaming that still exists.
He’s not alone—and the stats show it
Sadly, Jack’s experience is not unique. In the same week his story aired, five Perth teenagers were sentenced for using a dating app to lure men into secluded locations, where they attacked them using knives, machetes and even a taser.
The Perth Children’s Court heard the boys, aged just 16 and 17 at the time, pleaded guilty to serious charges including aggravated armed robbery and assault causing bodily harm.
These are not isolated incidents. Victoria Police have made over 30 arrests since October 2024 in connection with similar attacks on dating app users.
Authorities are encouraging people to come forward if they experience or witness anything suspicious.
‘There is no place for this type of concerning behaviour in our society,’ a police spokesperson said.
A shift in trust and confidence
For Jack, the psychological impact has been long-lasting.
‘I rarely use dating apps anymore. I don’t meet people online without thoroughly vetting them,’ he says.
‘I’ve become much more cautious and less trusting, and I struggle to be as social as I once was. I’ve had to move forward the best I can.’
Despite this, Jack is determined to speak out. ‘I’m sharing this now because I want people to understand that these things do happen, and no one should feel alone or ashamed if it happens to them. There is support out there, and there are people who understand what you’re going through. Reaching out for help really does make a difference.’
The role of dating apps and community support
While dating apps have changed how we meet people, they also carry responsibilities.
Many now offer safety features such as in-app reporting, emergency help and profile verification. Still, we must be proactive about our own safety.
If you or someone you know has experienced violence or harassment, support is available.
Call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636 for 24/7 confidential support.
Let’s keep the conversation going
Jack’s story highlights an issue that many Australians may not talk about—but need to.
Whether you’ve had a good or bad experience, your voice matters. By speaking openly, we can help each other stay informed, safe and supported in today’s digital world.
Have you had a close call or a positive experience with online dating? What advice would you give to others in our community?
We’d love to hear your tips, insights and stories—join the discussion in the comments below.
Also read: Fighting hate: Legislators respond to surge in hate crimes with new laws
Easy fix. Don’t plan on meeting anyone you don’t know in a secluded place. Meet at a pub or cafe for example and stick to populated locations until you know them better.