These 10 jokes are so bad that they’re almost great

We guarantee you’ll impress almost anyone with these 10 bad jokes.

Older man wacthing Tv in his armchair

When it comes to a good joke, we think short and sweet is best. Try keeping one of these doozies up your sleeve to use at your next dinner party, when you’re in line at the bank, or in the doctor’s waiting room. We guarantee you’ll impress almost anyone. We did say, almost.

1. Recently, a close friend admitted to being addicted to brake fluid. When I questioned him on it he said he reckoned he could stop any time.

2. Ran into my mate in the doctor’s office this afternoon looking worried.

“What’s the matter?” I asked

“Doc’s just told me I’ve got the big C,” he said.

“What, cancer?”

He shook his head, “Nah, dyslexia.”

3. I was minding my own business, just watching telly when my wife walked in and turned it off. After she left, I sat for a while and thought, that’s just not on.

4. I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave. As I arrived, I noticed four gravediggers carrying around a coffin. One hour later they were still at it. Those blokes must have lost the plot.

5. This morning I read in the newspaper that The Flintstones will no longer be permitted to be aired in Dubai. A spokesperson for the channel was quoted in the article as saying, “A claim was made that people of Dubai would not understand the humour of the show, but we have reports that prove they Abu Dhabi Do.”

6. I was at work at the bank when an older woman came up to me and asked if I could check her balance. Not being one to disappoint, I stood up and pushed the old dear over.

7. My son’s birthday is coming up and he’s been begging me for a pet spider. So I went to our local pet shop for a price but they were $70! No way Jose, I thought – I can get one much cheaper off the web.

8. I was on the train this afternoon when a funny man sat down next to me. He had custard in one ear and jelly in the other. He must’ve been a trifle deaf.

9. I haven’t been on any dates for a while so I bought a new aftershave that smells like breadcrumbs. The birds love it.

10. How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.

Got a favourite joke? Share it below.

RELATED ARTICLES





    COMMENTS

    To make a comment, please register or login
    Johno
    17th Feb 2017
    12:08pm
    Q:What did South Australia have before candles?
    A: Electricity
    Old Geezer
    17th Feb 2017
    12:29pm
    Two termites walked into a pub and asked "Where's the bar".
    Yer man
    17th Feb 2017
    1:04pm
    Two ducks are walking down a street in a village in Ireland .
    One duck says 'Quack , quack. '
    The other one says, 'I'm going as quack as I can !'
    MjP
    17th Feb 2017
    1:05pm
    Q. What is the difference between a cat and a comma?
    A. One has claws at the end of its paws and the other is a pause at the end of a clause.
    Not Senile Yet!
    17th Feb 2017
    1:45pm
    So who are the Most Corrupt?
    The Corporates for making Invisible & Huge donations to the LNP & LABOR or whichever Party is in Power?
    OR
    Is it the Party that turns a blind eye as a payback for Donations?
    OR
    Is it the Party Puppet MP'S who refuse to serve the Public because if they go against the Party Policy of .....Emu with Head in the Ground.....and are Silent?
    REALLY????
    WRONG ANSWER....If you picked 1 2 or 3...or all 3!
    The most Corrupt are the Voters...
    who give the Parties and Party Puppets the POWER to allow all of the above!
    The Corruption is in your mindset!
    You really just don't give a Shit enough to Change how you Vote!
    So your Brain is Corrupted to Accept it....rather than Do Something about....like change the way you Vote!!!!
    Zicky
    17th Feb 2017
    9:19pm
    Come on "Not Senile Yet"...porkies in your "name". Are you always this happy and cheerful?
    Poor old guy!
    Gee Whiz
    26th Apr 2017
    4:59pm
    Two blonds walking along the street when one finds a makeup compact. She opens it up looks in the mirror and says "that person looks familiar".

    The other blonde takes the compact and looks in the mirror. "You silly-billy its me".


    Join YOURLifeChoices, it’s free

    • Receive our daily enewsletter
    • Enter competitions
    • Comment on articles