28 signs that went wrong

In this week’s Friday funnies, we share 28 signs that prove English is a funny language.

Funny stealing no entry sign in city street

  1. At a Santa Fe gas station: "We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container."
  1. In a New York restaurant: "Customers who consider our waitresses uncivil ought to see the manager."
  1. On the wall of a Baltimore estate: "Trespassers will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. – Sisters of Mercy"
  1. On a long-established New Mexico dry cleaners: "38 years on the same spot."
  1. In a Los Angeles dance hall: "Good clean dancing every night but Sunday."
  1. In a Florida maternity ward: "No children allowed."
  1. In a New York drugstore: "We dispense with accuracy."
  1. In the offices of a loan company: "Ask about our plans for owning your home."
  1. In a New York medical building: "Mental Health Prevention Center"
  1. On a New York convalescent home: "For the sick and tired of the Episcopal Church."
  1. On a Maine shop: "Our motto is to give our customers the lowest possible prices and workmanship."
  1. At a number of military bases: "Restricted to unauthorized personnel."
  1. On a display of "I love you only" Valentine cards: "Now available in multi-packs."
  1. In the window of a Kentucky appliance store: "Don't kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work."
  1. In a funeral parlor: "Ask about our layaway plan."
  1. In a clothing store: "Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks."
  1. In a Tacoma men's clothing store: "15 men's wool suits, $10. They won't last an hour!"
  1. On a shopping mall marquee: "Archery Tournament – Ears pierced"
  1. Outside a country shop: "We buy junk and sell antiques."
  1. In the window of an Oregon store: "Why go elsewhere and be cheated when you can come here?"
  1. In a Maine restaurant: "Open 7 days a week and weekends."
  1. On a radiator repair garage: "Best place to take a leak."
  1. In the vestry of a New England church: "Will the last person to leave please see that the perpetual light is extinguished."
  1. In a Pennsylvania cemetery: "Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves."
  1. On a roller coaster: "Watch your head."
  1. On the grounds of a public school: "No trespassing without permission."
  1. On a Tennessee highway: "When this sign is under water, this road is impassable."
  1. Similarly, in front of a New Hampshire car wash: "If you can't read this, it's time to wash your car."




    COMMENTS

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    20th May 2016
    10:56am
    "Patrons only permitted alone or with someone."

    20th May 2016
    12:12pm
    "Tampons 50% Off. No Strings Attached!"

    20th May 2016
    12:20pm
    "Ears pierced while you wait"

    20th May 2016
    12:26pm
    "If you can't stop in, smile as you go by."
    Polly Esther
    20th May 2016
    12:50pm
    On the side of an old tin building on the road out of town.
    "Johnsons Tool Works"
    ( showoff ) :-)

    20th May 2016
    12:50pm
    On the back of a T-shirt:

    "I'm a bomb disposal expert, if you see me running try to keep up."
    KSS
    20th May 2016
    12:51pm
    Sign in a hotel advertisement:

    "French widow in every room."

    20th May 2016
    1:02pm
    Sign outside a brothel:

    "Staff Wanted. The pay's not much, but the tips are many."
    Tee
    20th May 2016
    6:57pm
    Fast Eddie ... Am having a great chuckle .. Love you!! Tee
    Anonymous
    22nd May 2016
    12:06am
    Thank you, Tee.

    Another one. Sign on wall above urinals in boys' high school rest room.
    "We aim to please. You aim too, please".
    The janitors.
    Keith
    21st May 2016
    8:13pm
    Sign outside Chemist shop "Ear Piercing Pregnancy Tests.
    ph
    21st May 2016
    10:34pm
    In the toilet cubical of an Adelaide Doctors surgery
    "Please dispose of items in the bin provided, other items will block the toilet"

    22nd May 2016
    3:33pm
    Printing on back of T-shirt of a motorcyclist:

    "If you can read this, she has fallen off."
    Strummer
    30th Dec 2016
    10:55am
    "I've lost my virginity but I've still got the wrapping"


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