Dad jokes

Our best collection of cringe-worthy dad jokes. On a totally unrelated note, what do you call a blind deer? No-eye-deer

A father and son are driving past a cemetery. The father says “You know, that is the dead centre of town! It’s so popular people are dying to get in there!'”

A family are driving through the countryside. They come upon a field of black and white cows, and the father remarks “It must be cold out there, those cows are Friesian!”

Daughter: Where are we Dad?
Dad: In the car

Mum: Could you put the kettle on for me?
Dad: I don't think it will fit!
Mum: Put the cat out
Dad: I didn't realise it was on fire

Son: I feel like a sandwich
Dad: Funny, you don't look like one....

A little boy walks into the room rubbing his eye.
Dad: What's up?
Son: There's something in my eye
Dad: They’re called eyeballs

Joan’s father was completely lost in the kitchen and never ate unless someone prepared a meal for him. When her mother was sick however, he volunteered to go to the supermarket for her. She sent him off with a carefully numbered list of seven items.

Joan’s dad returned shortly, very proud of himself, and proceeded to unpack the grocery bags. He had one bag of sugar, two dozen eggs, three hams, four boxes of detergent, five boxes of crackers, six eggplants, and seven green capsicums.


    To make a comment, please register or login
    12th Jul 2013
    I know when you get older they say you enter your second childhood - well at 70 I must be a long way off as I found these jokes to be very childish indeed! I thought this site was for the more mature person.
    12th Jul 2013
    C'mon a little light humour never hurt anyone
    13th Jul 2013
    That last one about Joans' dad is really true, his name is fwed.
    12th Jul 2013
    They are Dad jokes, supposed to be lame. Get a sense of humour
    Michael Pearce
    12th Jul 2013
    Yes but really this lame.
    Friday Funnies are usually FUNNY
    12th Jul 2013
    Have to agree with you, and Tango18, the joke`s aren`t good at all this week. Really unfunny this week.

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