Friday Funnies: A whale of a time

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A university student could not take his final exam because of a funeral. “No problem,” the teacher told him. “Make it up the following week.” That week came, and again he could not take the test due to another funeral.

“You’ll have to take the test early next week,” the professor insisted. “I can’t keep postponing it.”

“I’ll take the test next week if no one dies,” the undergraduate replied.

By now, the instructor was suspicious. “How can you have so many people you know pass away in three weeks?”

“I don’t know any of these people,” the student exclaimed. “But I’m the only gravedigger in town.”

•••

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though a whale is a very large mammal, its throat is very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. The teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; that it was impossible. The little girl said, “When I get to heaven, I will ask Jonah.”

The teacher asked, “What if Jonah went to hell?”

The little girl replied, “Then you ask him!”

•••

Two prawns, Justin and Kristian, were swimming around in the sea one day. They were continually being chased and threatened by the sharks that inhabited the area.

Eventually, Justin had enough. He said to Kristian, “I’m fed up with being a prawn. I wish I was a shark, and then I wouldn’t have to worry about being eaten all the time.”

As he said this, a large mysterious cod appeared and said, “Your wish is granted!”

With that, Justin turned into a fearsome shark.

Kristian was horrified and immediately swam away as he was scared of being eaten by his friend.

As time went by, Justin found that his new life as a shark was boring and lonely. None of his old friends would let him get near them as they thought he would eat them, and they would swim away whenever he approached.

It took a while, but eventually Justin realised that his menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight.

Then, one day, as he was swimming alone as usual, he saw the mysterious cod again. He wanted to return to his old life so he swam to the cod and begged to be changed back. The cod worked his magic and suddenly Justin was a prawn once more.

With tears of joy streaming down his cheeks, Justin swam straight to Kristian’s home.

As he opened the coral gate, the happy memories came flooding back. He banged on the door and shouted, “Kristian, it’s me, Justin, your old friend. Come out and see me again.”

Kristian replied, “No way! You are a shark now and you will just eat me. I’m not being tricked into being your dinner.”

Justin shouted back: “No, I’m not a shark any more. That was the old me. I’ve changed … I’ve found Cod. I’m a prawn again Kristian.”

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