Friday Funnies: wise and witty

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A clear conscience is usually a sign of bad memory.


Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.


If both basketball teams just worked together, they could score so many more points.


When people tell me “You’re going to regret that in the morning!”, I sleep in until noon because I’m a problem solver.


If at first you don’t succeed, hide all evidence that you tried.


A bank is a place you can borrow money if you can prove that you don’t need it.


Eat right, stay fit, die anyway.


Of course I talk to myself: sometimes I need expert advice.


Go three days without your favourite thing. Then go three days without sleep. You’ll realise that sleep is actually your favourite thing.


An apple a day can keep anyone away … if you throw it hard enough.


I don’t think inside the box and I don’t think outside the box. In fact, I don’t even know where the box is.


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The top three jokes about the Pope

Whatever your religious persuasion, we think you'll enjoy today's papal puns!

Who doesn’t love a naughty joke?

Friday Funnies that are just a tad naughty.

Have you heard the one about the horse?

Today's Friday Funnies will get you giggling.

Written by livga


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