St Peter takes a recently admitted couple on a tour of heaven.
A long-time retired, elderly couple were married for over sixty years. Although the man and women were not poor, they were far from being rich. They managed to get by, by skimping and watching their pennies.
The elderly man and woman were both in excellent health for their age, mainly because of the wife’s insistence on healthy foods and exercise.
But as fate would have it, the couple’s excellent health didn’t help a bit when they went on a rare vacation and their plane crashed.
Being a good, honest couple, they wound up in Heaven.
When man and woman reached the pearly gates, they got a welcome from St Peter, who escorted them into Paradise. First, St Peter took them to a beautiful mansion, furnished in gold and fine silks, with a fully stocked kitchen and a waterfall in the master bath.
A maid could be seen hanging their favourite clothes in the closet. The couple gasped in astonishment while St Peter said, “Welcome to Heaven. This will be your home now.”
The old man asked how much money all this luxury was going to cost
“How much? Of course, nothing,” replied St Peter. “You have earned this by being good during your lives and this is your reward: Heaven with all its blessings and luxuries.”
The old man looked out the window and right there he saw a championship golf course, finer and more beautiful than any ever built on Earth.
“I love golf but how much for the greens fee?” asked the old man. “I couldn’t afford to play much more than twice a year on Earth.”
“Remember, this is Heaven,” emphasised St Peter. “Play as much as you want and every time you golf you get it for free – always on the house, in other words.”
Soon they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch, with every imaginable cuisine laid out before them, including seafood, lamb chops, steaks, exotic deserts, free-flowing beverages and all the over 200 varieties of wine.
“Don’t even ask,” said St Peter to the man. “This is Heaven, it is all free for you to enjoy.”
The old man looked around and glanced nervously at his wife. “Well, where are the low-fat and low-cholesterol foods, and the decaffeinated tea?” the old man queried.
“This will amaze you, more than the fact everything is free,” stated St Peter with a smile. “You can eat as much food and drink as much wine as you like, and you will never get fat, sick or really drunk. This is Heaven!”
The old man was still not totally satisfied, “No gym to work out at?”
“Not unless you actually want to exercise for the fun of it,” was the answer.
“No testing my sugar or blood pressure or all the other tests my wife has asked me to do over the last twenty years or so?”
“Never again,” said St Peter. “All you do here is enjoy yourself.”
At this point, the elderly man glared at his wife and uttered, “You and your bloody bran muffins and all the other healthy stuff. We could have been here fifteen years ago!”
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