Jokes that can be told in church

While these jokes can be told in church, it doesn’t mean they’re not devilishly funny.

Jokes that can be told in church

While these jokes can be told in church, it doesn’t mean they’re not worth telling whether you go to church or not. They’re that funny.

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Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after hearing a strong sermon on the devil.

One said to the other, “What do you think about all this Satan stuff?”

The other boy replied, “Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out. So, it’s probably just your Dad.”

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Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, “Why is the bride dressed in white?''

The mother replied, “Because white is the colour of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life.”

The child thought about this for a moment then said, “So why is the groom wearing black?”

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Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, “My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50.”

The second boy says, “That’s nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100.”

The third boy says, “I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the money!”

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An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested no male pallbearers.

In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service, she wrote, “They wouldn't take me out while I was alive, I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead.”

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A Sunday school teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem.

A small child replied, “They couldn't get a babysitter.”

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A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her six-year-old students.

After explaining the commandment to ‘Honour thy father and thy mother’, she asked, “Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?”

Without missing a beat, one little boy answered, “Thou shall not kill.”

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At Sunday school they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings.

Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs.

Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and she asked, “Johnny, what is the matter?”

Little Johnny responded, “I have pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife.”





    COMMENTS

    To make a comment, please register or login
    GeeDub
    29th Mar 2019
    1:41pm
    These are blasphemy and take Eric's name in vain!
    DINGOPOO
    9th Aug 2019
    2:58pm
    WHO THE FUCK IS ERIC?
    GeeDub
    9th Aug 2019
    8:56pm
    That was a quick response!
    Who is Eric ...?
    ... Cantona!

    Then: WTF is ...?!

    "When seagulls follow the trawler it is because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea,"


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