A simple explanation

A mother-in-law dropped in after a shopping trip to find her son-in-law boiling angry and hurriedly packing his suitcase.

“What happened?” she asked anxiously. 

“What happened? I’ll tell you what happened. I sent an email to my wife – your daughter – telling her I was coming home a day early from my fishing trip. I got home…and guess what I found? Your daughter, Jean, in bed with a naked guy! This is unforgiveable, the end of our marriage. I’m done. I’m leaving forever!”

“Calm down, calm down!” said his mother-in-law. “There’s something very odd about that. Jean would never do such a thing. There must be a simple explanation. I’ll go speak to her and find out what happened.”

A few minutes later, the mother-in-law came back with a big smile and said, “I told you there must be a simple explanation – she didn’t receive your email.”

Two catholic parrots

A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, “Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing.”

“What do they say?” the priest asked.

They say, “Hi, we’re hookers! Do you want to have some fun?”

“That’s obscene!” the priest exclaimed, then he thought for a moment…

“You know,” he said, “I may have a solution to your problem. I have two male talking parrots, which I have taught to pray and read the Bible. Bring your two parrots over to my house, and we’ll put them in the cage with Francis and Peter. My parrots can teach your parrots to pray and worship, and your parrots are sure to stop saying that phrase in no time.”

“Thank you,” the woman responded, “this may very well be the solution.”

The next day she brought her female parrots to the priest’s house. As he ushered her in, she saw that his two male parrots were inside their cage holding rosary beads and praying.

Impressed, she walked over and placed her parrots in with them. After a few minutes, the female parrots cried out in unison: “Hi, we’re hookers! Do you want to have some fun?”

There was stunned silence…shocked, one male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and said “Put the beads away, Frank, our prayers have been answered!”

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