Another friday Another bunch of Funnies!

Gordon Brown was visiting a primary school and he visited one of the classes. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asked Mr Brown if he would like to lead the discussion on the word ‘tragedy’.

So the Prime Minister asked the class for an example of a ‘tragedy’

A little boy stood up and offered, “If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs him over and kills him, that would be a ‘tragedy'”.

“No, not quite”, said Gordon, “that would be an accident”.

A little girl raised her hand. “If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff killing everyone inside, that would be a ‘tragedy'”.

“I’m afraid not”, explained Gordon, ‘that’s what we would call ‘a great loss'”.

The room went silent – no other children volunteered. Gordon searched the room. “Isn’t there someone here who can give me an example of a ‘tragedy'”?

Finally, at the back of the room, little Johnny raised his hand. In a quiet voice he said, ‘If a plane carrying you and Mr Darling was struck by a ‘friendly fire’ missile and the plane was blown to smithereens, that would be a ‘tragedy'”.

“Fantastic!” exclaimed Gordon, “that’s right, and can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?”

“Well”, said little Johnny, “it has to be a tragedy, because it certainly wouldn’t be a great loss and it probably wouldn’t be a bloody accident either!”

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Ed was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really upset. She told him ‘Tomorrow morning I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT HAD BETTER BE THERE!’

The next morning Ed got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out of the window and sure enough there was a small box, gift-wrapped, in the middle of the driveway. Confused, she put on her robe, ran out on to the driveway and picked up the box.

She opened it and found a brand new set of bathroom scales.

Funeral services for Ed have been scheduled for Friday.

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One out of four people in this Country is mentally unbalanced.

Think of your 3 closest friends…….

If they’re okay then you’re the one!

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Apple announced today that it has developed a breast implant that can store and play music. The iTit will cost from $499 to $699, depending on cup and speaker size. This has been hailed as a major social breakthrough, because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.

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