Car jokes to shift your mood

Bill’s wife borrowed his car and parked it in the supermarket car park. As she came out laden with shopping she saw a young man break into the car, hot wire it and drive away. Naturally she reported the matter to the police. “What did he look like?” the sergeant asked. “I don’t know,” she replied, “but I got the licence plate.”


A policeman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing into the car, he was astounded to see that the young lady, who was driving, was knitting. Realising that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the policeman wound down his window, turned on his loudspeaker and yelled, “PULL OVER!”. “NO,” the young lady yelled back, “IT’S A SCARF!”.


Jack was driving down a back lane when he met a car coming the other way.  Although there was enough room to pass, Jack forced the oncoming car to slow down. As Jack was passing the other car he wound down his window and shouted “PIG!”. The other driver looked in his rear view mirror and swore at Jack. Then his car hit the pig.


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