Catholic parrots

A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, “Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing.” 

“What do they say?” the priest asks. 

They say, “Hi, we’re hookers! Do you want to have some fun?” 

“That’s obscene!” the priest exclaims. 

Then he thinks for a moment and says, “You know, I may have a solution to your problem. I have two male talking parrots, which I have taught to pray and read the Bible. 

“Bring your two parrots over to my house and we’ll put them in the cage with

Francis and Peter. My parrots can teach your parrots to pray and worship, and your parrots are sure to stop saying that phrase in no time.” 

“Thank you,” the woman responds, “this may very well be the solution. 

The next day, the woman takes her female parrots to the priest’s house. As he ushers her in, she sees that his two male parrots are inside their cage holding rosary beads and praying. Impressed, she walks over and places her parrots in with them. 

After a few minutes, the female parrots cry out in unison, “Hi, we’re hookers! Do you want to have some fun?” 

There was stunned silence. 

Then, one male parrot looks over at the other male parrot and says, “Put the beads away, Francis, our prayers have been answered!”


Car terminology
 

The daughter says to her Dad, “Dad there is something that my boyfriend said to me that I didn’t understand. He said that I have a beautiful chassis, lovely airbags and a fantastic bumper.” 

Her dad replies, “You tell your boyfriend that if he opens your bonnet and tries to check your oil with his dipstick, I will tighten his nuts so hard that his headlights will pop out and he will start leaking out of his exhaust pipe.”

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