Two guys, one old and one young, are pushing their trolleys around the supermarket when they collide.
The old guy says to the young guy, “Sorry about that. I’m looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going.”
The young guy says, “That’s okay. It’s a coincidence. I’m looking for my wife, too. I can’t find her and I’m getting a little desperate.”
The old guy says, “Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?
The young guy says, “Well, she is 24 yrs old, tall, with blonde hair, blue eyes, long legs, big boobs, and she’s wearing tight white shorts, a halter top and no bra. What does your wife look like?”
The old guy says, “Doesn’t matter — let’s look for yours.”
A man walks into the toy store to get a Barbie doll for his daughter. So he asks the assistant, as you would, “How much is Barbie?”
“Well,” she says, “we have Barbie Goes to the Gym for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Ball for $19.95, Barbie Goes Shopping for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Beach for $19.95, Barbie Goes Nightclubbing for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.00.”
“Hey, hang on,” the guy asks, “why is Divorced Barbie $265.00 when all the others are only $19.95?”
“Yeah, well, it’s like this … Divorced Barbie comes with Ken’s house, Ken’s car, Ken’s boat, Ken’s furniture …”
A business man called his travel agent and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, the travel agent reminded him he needed a visa. “Oh no I don’t, I’ve been to China many times and never had to have one of those.” The travel agent double checked, and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When told this he said, “Look, I’ve been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express.”