Friday Funnies: A latte laughs guaranteed on World Coffee Day

It’s International Coffee Day, according to someone, so we went looking for the coffee gags that wouldn’t make you gag. Hope you get a latte laughs.

Barista: How do you take your coffee?
Me: Very, very seriously.

What do you call sad coffee?
Despresso.

What’s the best Beatles song?
Latte Be!

Spouse #1: Honey, this coffee tastes like dirt.
Spouse #2: That’s not surprising, dear, it was just ground this morning.

How does Moses make his coffee?
Hebrews it.

Read: Never argue with a woman who reads

How do you know if you’ve had enough coffee?
You channel surf faster without the remote.

How is divorce like espresso?
It’s expensive and bitter.

What do you call a cow who’s just given birth?
De-calf-inated!

Where do birds go for coffee?
To the NESTcafe.

What did the coffee addict say to his doctor?
I don’t have a problem with coffee. I have a problem without it!

Read: Why you ought to be vaccinated

What’s the difference between coffee and your opinion?
I asked for coffee.

What do you call it when cafe customers joke about their coffee?
A brewhaha.

How are coffee beans like kids?
They’re always getting grounded!

What do you call it when you walk into a cafe you’re sure you’ve been to before?
Déjà brew.

What’s the technical name for a coffee at work?
Break fluid.

A factory worker died today after falling into a vat of coffee. Police say that although it came as a shock to all who knew him, they may take some relief from the fact he didn’t suffer.

It was instant.

Read: The pure bread dog

What’s fat, hairy and drinks a lot of coffee?
Java the Hut!

Every morning, I see this exhausted woman who looks like she would murder someone for a cup of coffee.

I really should move that mirror.

Why should you be wary of a 50-cent espresso?
It’s a cheap shot.

I tried brewing my coffee with Red Bull instead of water.

I drank it and left my house to go to work. After 15 minutes I realised I forgot my car.

Thanks to ScaryMommy.com for the inspiration.

Anything we missed? Why not share your coffee jokes – or any jokes – in the comments section below?

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Written by Janelle Ward



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