Friday Funnies: Celebrity romance

The day when my wedding rings fit again, I will throw a party. We can’t all be princess Kate. – Busy Phillips

•••

I always have a note in my pocket that says, “John did it”  – just in case I’m murdered, because I don’t want him to remarry. – Christine Teigen

•••

I love my husband, but no matter where we are I make him sleep closest to the door so if anything happens he gets murdered first. – Jessica Valenti

•••

I’d like to thank my husband for changing half the nappies in our house. I hope he changes all of mine one day … – Kristen Bell

•••

I married for love. But the obvious side benefit of having someone around to find my glasses cannot be ignored. – Cameron Esposito

•••

*Watching husband sleep*
Me: “I just love him so much, he’s my everyth-”
*Husband snores*
Me: “I can’t live like this.”
– Stephanie Oritz

•••

Millennials who make fun of my wife and I for sharing jeans can go straight to hell. – Rob Delaney

•••

Never trust a man when he’s in love, drunk, or running for office. – Shirley Maclaine

•••

Wife: *cutting my hair* “How do you want it this time?”
Me: “Make me look handsome.”
Wife: “I’m not a miracle worker.”
– James Breakwell

•••

If you enjoy our content, don’t keep it to yourself. Share our free eNews with your friends and encourage them to sign up.

Related articles:
Howling with laughter
Friday Funnies: Science says
Knock, Knock. Who’s there?

Written by Liv Gardiner

RELATED LINKS

Friday Funnies has us howling with laughter

In honour of International Dog Day earlier this week, Friday Funnies dives nose first into these

Friday Funnies: Science says

Here are five of the funniest jokes of all time. If you disagree, don't blame us.

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Friday Funnies

Knock, knock. Who's there? A herd. A herd who? A herd it's Friday, so here's a joke!



SPONSORED LINKS

LOADING MORE ARTICLE...