Friday Funnies goes Down Under

In true Aussie tradition, it’s time to have a laugh at ourselves this week. Some may be just a little too close to the bone.

If someone who speaks two languages is bilingual, and someone who speaks many languages is multilingual, then what to you call someone who speaks one language?
Aussie. 

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How many Aussies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Three. One to hold the bulb and two to turn the ladder.

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What do you call an Aussie in the finals of the World Cup?
A referee.

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Why are murders in Tasmania so hard to solve? 
Because there are no dental records and all the DNA matches.

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Q: What’s the difference between Cinderella and the Melbourne football team?
A: Cinderella wanted to get to the ball.

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An Aussie said, “Take away your snow-capped mountains, culture and good food, and what would New Zealand be?”
The Kiwi answered, “Australia.”

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Want to hear a joke about the construction industry in Australia?
Too bad, they’re still working on it. 

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Two politicians go out to lunch together. In the middle of lunch one of them jumps up and says, “Bugger. I forgot to lock the office safe before we left.” 
The other politician replies: “No worries. We’re both here.”

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What’s the last thing a bogan says before they pass away?
“Hey mate – check this out!!”

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What are the only two seasons a bogan can name?
Football and cricket. 

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If you have any more Aussie-oriented jokes to share, put them in the comment section below.

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Written by Liv Gardiner

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