There’s one prominent group of ’employees’ guaranteed to be the butt of much humour – politicians.
•••
Q: What is the difference between capitalism and socialism?
A: In a capitalist society, man exploits man, and in a socialist one, it’s the other way around.
•••
We should have known communism would never work, there were so many red flags.
•••
Read: Jokes for smart people
What do you get when you ask a politician for ‘the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth’?
Three different answers.
•••
A murderer, politician and religious man walks into a bar.
And that’s just the first guy.
•••
A thief pressed a knife to a man’s ribcage and said, “Give me your money!”
Shocked, the man replied, “You can’t do this to me! I’m a politician!”
The thief replied, “In that case, give me my money!”
•••
How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to assure the public that they’re doing everything they can to fix the issue while the other screws the bulb into a tap.
•••
Read: Wise and witty one-liners
Stop blaming politicians and start blaming fortune tellers. They knew, and they did nothing.
•••
They knocked on the door of a farm and asked if they could spend the night.
The farmer said, “Of course, but I only have a small room with two beds. One of you will have to sleep in the barn.”
The Hindu priest said, “I need no material comforts. I will gladly take the barn.”
The rabbi and the politician were settling in when they heard a knock on the door. They opened it to find the Hindu priest standing there.
“So sorry, my friends, but there is a cow in the barn, and I cannot sleep beside such a holy animal.”
The rabbi said, “No problem, my brother. I’ll take the barn.”
The Hindu priest and the politician were settling in when they heard a knock on the door. They opened it to find the rabbi standing there.
“So sorry, my friends, but there’s a pig in the barn, and I can’t sleep beside such a filthy animal.”
The politician said, “Okay, let it be remembered that I sacrificed my comfort for the greater good.”
The rabbi and the Hindu priest were settling in when they heard a knock on the door. They opened it to find the pig and the cow standing there.
Did we forget any classic political jokes? Share them in the comments section below.
