Friday Funnies visit Little Johnny

Are you familiar with Little Johnny? If not, you’re about to be, as we share some classic Little Johnny jokes from UniJokes to celebrate the end of the week.

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A Sunday school teacher is concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus, so he asks his class, “Where is Jesus today?”
Steven raises his hand and says, “He’s in Heaven.”
Mary answers, “He’s in my heart.”
Little Johnny waves his hand furiously and blurts out, “He’s in our bathroom!”
The surprised teacher asks Little Johnny how he knows this.
“Well,” Little Johnny says, “every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door and yells ‘Jesus Christ, are you still in there?’

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Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said, “Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if that I made ugly faces, my face would freeze and would stay like that forever.”

Little Johnny looked up and replied, “Well, Ms Smith, you can’t say you weren’t warned.”

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Little Johnny’s father asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees.
“I don’t want to know!” Little Johnny says, bursting into tears.
Confused, his father asks what’s wrong.
“Oh, Dad,” Little Johnny sobs, “first, there was no Santa Claus, then no Easter Bunny, and finally, no Tooth Fairy. If you’re about to tell me that grownups don’t really have sex, I’ve got nothing left to believe in.”

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The American Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighbourhood boys for being stupid. Their favourite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime, and Little Johnny always takes the nickel. One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbour takes him aside and says, “Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. Don’t you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the nickel’s bigger?” Johnny grins and says, “Well, if I took the dime, they’d stop doing it, and so far I’ve made $20!”

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A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, “Everyone who thinks they’re stupid, stand up!” After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, “Do you think you’re stupid, Little Johnny?” “No, ma’am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!”

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“Mummy, mummy! Why am I running in circles?”
“Shut up, Johnny or I’ll nail your other foot to the floor.”

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Little Johnny’s father asked for report card.
“I don’t have it,” Johnny replied.
“Why not?” his father asked.
“My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents.”

 

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