Friday funnies

Whether they make you laugh or groan, hopefully our choice of jokes will go a little way to putting a smile on your face.

One day, two guys Joe and Bob were out fishing. A funeral service passes over the bridge they’re fishing by, and Bob takes off his hat and puts it over his heart. He does this until the funeral service passes by.

Joe then said “Gee Bob, I didn’t know you had it in you!”

Bob then replies “It’s the least I could do. After all I was married to her for 30 years.”

An English professor wrote the words, “woman without her man is nothing” on the blackboard and directed the students to punctuate it correctly.

The men wrote: “Woman, without her man, is nothing.”

The women wrote: “Woman! Without her, man is nothing.”

We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the “seniors’ special” was two eggs, bacon, hash browns & toast for $1.99.

“Sounds good,” my wife said. “But I don’t want the eggs.”

“Then, I’ll have to charge you two dollars & forty-nine cents because you’re ordering a la carte,” the waitress warned her.

“You mean I’d have to pay for not taking the eggs?” my wife asked incredulously.

“Yes!!” stated the waitress.

“I’ll take the special then.” my wife said.

“How do you want your eggs?” the waitress asked.

“Raw and in the shell,” my wife replied.

She took the two eggs home.

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple’s house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two elderly gentlemen were talking, and one said, “Last night we went out to a new restaurant, and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly.”

The other man said, “What is the name of the restaurant?”

The first man thought and thought and finally said, “What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know… the one that is red and has thorns.”

“Do you mean a rose?”

“Yes,” the man said and then he turned toward the kitchen and yelled, “Rose, what’s the name of that restaurant we went to last night?”

For more laughs, why not try out some of our favourite sites for Australian funnies.

Convict Creations

All down under

Amazing Australia

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