Friday Phonies

Fred rushes in and announces loudly, ‘I tell you, women drivers are a hazard to traffic. Driving to work this morning on the freeway, I looked over to my left and there was this woman in a Volvo doing at least 100 km/h with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her mascara.

I looked away for a couple seconds and then the next thing I knew was she was careering all over my lane.

It scared me so badly that I dropped my electric shaver into my coffee, and it spilled all over my smartphone.’


Jackson was moving towards California from the Deep South. On his way to the city, he stopped at a local market and went to the washroom. The first stall was taken, so he went in the second stall.

Soon, he heard a voice from the next stall… “Hi there, how is it going?”

That was okay, but Jackson was not a person to strike conversations with strangers in washrooms on the side of the road.

He did not know what to say, but he awkwardly said, “Not bad…”

Then the voice said: “So, what are you doing?”

Jackson thought that a bit weird, but said, “Well, I’m moving California…”

Then, he heard the person say: “Look I’ll call you back. Every time I ask you a question, this idiot in the next stall answers me.”


Andrew was laying down carpet in some woman’s home. As he was finishing, he got a craving for a cigarette. He looked around and discovered that his cigarettes were missing. He did, however, notice a bump in the carpet and figured that he had laid carpet over the pack without noticing it there. He decided rather than to take up the carpet, he would get a hammer and pound it into the ground so no one would know.

When he finished that, the owner of the house walked into the room and commented on what a nice job he had done.

“Andrew, The carpet looks wonderful!” she exclaimed. “Here are your cigarettes; I found them in the kitchen. Oh yes, by the way, have you seen my smartphone?”

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