Friday Smiles

A woman goes into Discount Fishing Supplies to buy a rod and reel for her grandson’s birthday. She doesn’t know which one to get, so she just picks one and goes over to the counter. The salesman is standing there, wearing dark shades.

She says, “Excuse me. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?”

He says, “Madam, I’m completely blind; but if you’ll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound it makes.”

She doesn’t believe him but drops it on the counter anyway. He says, “That’s a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10-lb.Test line. It’s a good all around combination, and it’s actually on sale this week for $44.”

She says, “That’s amazing that you can tell all that, just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I’ll take it!”

As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor. “Oh, that sounds like a Visa card,” he says.

As the lady bends down to pick up the card, she accidentally farts. At first she’s really embarrassed, but then realises there is no way the blind salesman would tell exactly who had farted. The man rings up the sale and says, “That’ll be $58.50 please.”

The woman is totally confused by this and asks, “Didn’t you tell me it was on sale for $44? How did you get $58.50?”

“Well the Duck Caller is $11, and the Fish Bait is $3.50.”

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Too good not to pass on, Enjoy!!

With all the new technology regarding fertility recently, a 65-year-old friend of mine was able to give birth. When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, I went to visit.

‘May I see the new baby?’ I asked.

‘Not yet,’ she said ‘I’ll make coffee and we can visit for a while first.’

Thirty minutes had passed, and I asked, ‘May I see the new baby now?’

‘No, not yet,’ She said.

After another few minutes had elapsed,

I asked again, ‘May I see the baby now?’

‘No, not yet,’ replied my friend.

Growing very impatient, I asked, ‘Well, when can I see the baby?’

‘WHEN HE CRIES!’ she told me.

‘WHEN HE CRIES?’ I demanded. ‘Why do I have to wait until he CRIES?’

‘BECAUSE I FORGOT WHERE I PUT HIM, O.K.?!!’

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Long ago

When men cursed

And beat the ground with sticks,

It was called witchcraft…

Today, it’s called golf.

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Worth the wait?