We all know laughter is the best medicine, which is why we’re prescribing a dose of these medical jokes.
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Therapist: “I’ve concluded that you are incapable of describing your emotions.”
Patient: “Well, I can’t say that I’m surprised.”
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Julia: “I heard you’re a hypochondriac.”
David: “Well, my doctor doesn’t think so, but I spent three days Googling it and from what I can see I have all the symptoms.”
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After a health scare, I hugged my wife and whispered: “If something happens to me, there is a present in my closet that’s yours.”
She whispered back: “If anything happens to you, everything in your closet is mine.”
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Read: Money, money, money
People are always saying: “Take it one day at a time.”
But is there any other way to take it?
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To whoever stole my antidepressants, I hope you’re happy now.
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What do you get when you mix an insomniac, an agnostic and a dyslexic?
Someone lying awake at night wondering about the true meaning of dog.
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Two psychiatrists passed each other in the street.
One said to the other: “You’re fine, how am I?”
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A nurse went to a job interview and was asked: “What do you think your biggest weakness is?”
He thought for a moment and replied: “I’d have to say my biggest weakness is my brutal honesty.”
“I don’t think that’s a weakness,” said the interviewer.
To which the man replied: “I don’t give a f*%@ what you think!”
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Read: Movie theatres
A mother visited a pharmacy and said: “I’d like to buy some vitamins for my young son.”
“Vitamin A, B or C?” asked the pharmacist.
The mother replied: “It doesn’t matter. He can’t read yet.”
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A woman noticed her husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach.
“That’s not going to help,” she said.
“Sure, it does,” he replied, “it’s the only way I can see the numbers!”
