Grandpa’s drink and an answer

Grandpa’s drink

There was a family gathering with all its generations gathered. Mischievous teenagers put a Viagra tablet into Grandpa’s drink and, after a while, Grandpa had to excuse himself because he had to go to the bathroom. 

When he returned, however, his trousers were wet all over. “What happened, Grandpa?” asked his concerned children.

“Well,” he answered, “I don’t really know. I had to go to the bathroom. I took it out and started to pee, but then I saw that it wasn’t mine, so I put it back!”

Now, that’s an answer I can understand

An American tourist asks an Irishman: “Why do Scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?”

To which the Irishman replies: “Well, if they fell forwards they’d still be in the bloody boat ya ninny!”