One Monday morning Shane the postman was riding through the neighbourhood on his usual route, delivering the mail. As he approached one home he noticed that both cars were still in the driveway.
David, the homeowner, coming out with a load of empty beer, wine, and spirit bottles for the recycling bin, cut his wonder short.
‘Wow David, looks like you guys had one hell of a party last night,’ the postman commented.
David, in obvious pain, replied, ‘Actually we had it Saturday night. This is the first time I have felt like moving since 4:00 o’clock Sunday morning. We had about 15 couples from around the neighbourhood over for some weekend fun and it got a bit wild. We all got so drunk around midnight that we started playing WHO AM I?’
The postman thought for a moment and said, ‘How do you play WHO AM I?’
David answered ‘Well, all the guys go in the bedroom and come out one at a time covered with a sheet with only the ‘family jewels’ showing through a hole in the sheet. Then the women try to guess who it is.’
The postman laughed and said, ‘Sounds like fun, I’m sorry I missed it.’
‘Probably a good thing you did,’ David responded, ‘Your name came up 7 times.’
Click NEXT for some hilarious Tech Support miscommunication jokes.
This should make you feel better about your computer skills (AND the job you have, if it is not in Tech Support)!
Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Customer: A white one…
Tech support: Click on the ‘my computer’ icon on the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can’t print. Every time I try, it says ‘Can’t find printer’. I’ve even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can’t find it.
Tech support: What’s on your monitor now, ma’am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.
Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it’s plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can’t get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in.
Customer: I can’t get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I’m sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five dots.
Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Tech support: That’s not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry… Internet Explorer.
Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I’m writing my first email.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter ‘a’ in the address, but how do I get the little circle around it?
A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under Windows?
Customer: ‘No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.’
Tech support: ‘Okay Bob, let’s press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter ‘P’ to bring up the Program Manager.’
Customer: I don’t have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: ‘P’….on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I’M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!