How to call the police

One way to save money
A man named Marty called his son.

“Harry I have news to tell you, I know it’s going to upset you but I have made up my mind and there is nothing you can do about it. I have decided to divorce your mother.”

“But dad how can that be?” the son asked “you have been married for 40 years, and you always seemed to get along? What happened suddenly?”

“Son, I have made up my mind, and I don’t want you to try to convince me out of it,” said Marty.

“OK” the son responded “but promise me you won’t do anything until I come and talk to you in person, and I am going to ask all of the siblings to fly in also.”

“Alright” said the father hanging up “you have my word.”

“Well” said Marty, turning to his wife “I got them all to come in and I didn’t even have to pay for the tickets.”


How to call the police: a true story

How to call the police when you’re a senior and don’t move fast anymore.

George Phillips, an elderly man from Walled Lake, Michigan, was going up to bed when his wife told him that he’d left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window.

George opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.

He phoned the police, who asked, “Is someone in your house?”

George said, “No, but some people are breaking into my garden shed and stealing from me.”

Then the police dispatcher said, “All patrols are busy. You should lock your doors and an officer will be along when one is available.”

George said, “Okay.”

He hung up the phone and counted to 30. Then he phoned the police again.

“Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed. Well, you don’t have to worry now because I just shot and killed them both; the dogs are eating them right now,” and he hung up.

Within five minutes, six police cars, a SWAT team, a helicopter, two fire trucks a paramedic and an ambulance showed up at the Phillips’ residence, and caught the burglars red-handed.

One of the policemen said to George, “I thought you said that you’d shot them.”

George said, “I thought you said there was nobody available.”



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