Jokes for the season

Liv Gardiner

4 years ago

What’s the difference between a spring roll and summer roll?
Seasoning

•••

A mob boss met with his four henchmen, Winter, Summer, Spring and Autumn.
“Winter,” the boss began, “I need you to stay cool in the face of pressure. Ice in your veins.”
He turned to Summer, “Then there’s you Summer, if things get too hot for winter, use that hot temper of yours to remind those cops who they’re working for.”
“As for you Spring,” he continued, “this operation will be bringing in a lot of green. You make sure that keeps on growing.”
The boss turned towards the door to leave when Autumn spoke up. “Boss!” he sputtered, “What about me?”
The boss turned back, shaking his head.
“Sorry son,” he said, “You’re just the fall guy.”

•••

Such nice spring days outside, but we’re all trapped indoors because of COVID-19.
It’s a real pity that my husband and kids can’t leave the house.

•••

What goes up when the rain comes down?
An umbrella.

•••

What kind of bow can’t be tied?
A rainbow.

•••

They say March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb.

Ewe might say it leaves sheepishly.

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