Friday Funnies: Laughter is the best medicine

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The global pandemic seems to be an endless source of stress and anxiety. This week, Friday Funnies has a laugh alongside the medical professionals on the frontline of the pandemic because, after all, laughter is the best medicine.

Doctor: “I have some bad news, and some very bad news. The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live.”
Patient: “24 hours to live! That’s terrible! But what’s the very bad news?”
Doctor: “I’ve been trying to contact you since yesterday.

•••

Doctor: “You’re very sick.”
Patient: “Can I get a second opinion?”
Doctor: “Yes, of course! You’re also quite ugly.”

•••

Woman: “Doctor, doctor! My husband just swallowed an aspirin by mistake, what should I do?”
Doctor: “Give him a headache now, what else!”

•••

They tried to save him with an IV but, alas, it was all in vein.

•••

Patient: “Doctor! I’ve swallowed a spoon!”
Doctor: “Well, sit down and try not to stir.”

•••

Patient: “Someone graffitied my house last night.”
Doctor: “I see, but why are you telling me this?”
Patient: “I can’t understand the writing. Was it you?”

•••

Doctor: “I’m afraid I have to deliver some very bad news. You have cancer as well as short-term memory loss.”
Patient: “That is bad news, but at least I don’t have cancer!”

•••

Doctor: “I’m afraid it’s terminal. You don’t have much time.”
Patient: “That’s terrible! How long do I have?
Doctor: “10.”
Patient: “10 what? Months? Weeks? Years?”
Doctor: “Nine … eight … seven … six …”

•••

An 85-year-old man was rushed to the hospital with a possible concussion. The doctor asked him a series of question to find out. “Do you know where you are?” she asked.
“I am at the Alfred hospital,” he replied.
“Do you know what city you are in?”
“Melbourne.”
“Do you know who I am?”
“Dr Hamilton.”
The doctor nodded in relief, taking notes.
The old man then turned to the nurse and said, “I hope she doesn’t ask any more questions.”
“Why is that?” the nurse asked.
“Because all of those answers were on her badge!”

Do you have any favourite doctor jokes? Share them with our readers in the comment section below.

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Written by Liv Gardiner

3 Comments

Total Comments: 3
  1. 0
    0

    Doctor doctor I can’t feel my legs.
    That’s because we amputated your arms

  2. 0
    0

    An apple a day keeps the doctor away, an onion a day keeps everyone away.

  3. 0
    0

    Two nurses chatting at the hospital cafeteria:
    “Feng, how would you spell it? W-H-O-M-B?”
    “I don’t know, Arvind.. perhaps it’s W-H-O-O-M?”
    Doctor, overhearing them: “Surely you know it’s spelt W-O-M-B?”
    “With the greatest respect, Doctor, have you even seen a water buffalo, let alone heard one fart under water?”


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