List laughs

10 Hilarious Bumper Stickers!

1. Nobody’s perfect. I’m a Nobody.

2. My wife said “If you go golfing or fishing one more time I’m going to leave you” …I’m sure going to miss her.

3. Ask me about my vow of silence.

4. Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep.

5. Be nice to your kids. They’ll choose your nursing home.

6. A fool and his money are a girl’s best friend.

7. My karma ran over your dogma.

8. “I is a university student.”

9. My other car is a car.

10. Honk if you love peace and quiet!

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10 true cases of Murphy’s Law

1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

2. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog.

3. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

4. A torch: A case for holding dead batteries.

5. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

6. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

7. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.

8. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

9. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

10. The things that come to those who wait will be the things left by those who got there first.

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10 Puns!

1.tAn invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

2.tA dyslexic man walks into a bra.

3.tA jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.”

4.tA man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, Doctor, doctor, I can’t feel my legs!” The doctor replied, “I know you can’t – I’ve cut off your arms!”

5.tTwo Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.

6.tA group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. “But why,” they asked, as they moved off. “Because”, he said, “I can’t stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.”

7.tThose who jump of a Paris bridge are in-seine!

8.tDid you hear about the fire at the circus?

It was intense!!

9. For a while Houdini used a lot of trap doors in his act. But he was just going through a stage.

10. I submitted these 10 puns in a joke competition hoping one would win. But no pun in ten did.

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