A woman went to the doctor’s office where she was seen by one of the younger doctors. After about four minutes in the examination room, she burst out screaming and ran down the hall.
An older doctor stopped her and asked what her problem was, and she told him her story.
After listening, he had her sit down and relax in another room. The older doctor marched down the hallway back to where the young doctor was writing on his clipboard.
“What’s the matter with you? Mrs Terry is 71 years old, has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant??” the older doctor demanded.
The younger doctor continued writing and without looking up said, “Bet she got over her hiccups though…”
A car full of Irish nuns is sitting at a traffic light in downtown Dublin, when a bunch of rowdy drunks pull up alongside them.
“Hey, show us yer teets, ya bloody penguins!” shouts one of the drunks.
Quite shocked, Mother Superior turns to Sister Mary Immaculata and says, “I don’t think they know who we are; show them your cross.”
Sister Mary Immaculata rolls down her window and shouts, “Bugger off you bloody pests, before I come over there and rip your head off.”
Sister Mary Immaculata then rolls up her window, looks back at Mother Superior, quite innocently, and asks, “Did that sound cross enough?”