Sixth grade science

The sixth grade science teacher, Mrs. Nebrowski, asked her class, “Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?”  

No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, “You should not be asking sixth-graders a question like that! I’m going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!”

The teacher ignored her and asked the question again, “Which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?”  

Little Mary’s mouth fell open. Then she said to those around her, “Boy, is she going to get in big trouble!”  

The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, “Anybody?” 

Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously, and said, “The body part that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye.” 

Mrs. Nebrowski said, “Very good, Billy,” then turned to Mary and continued.

“As for you, young lady, I have three things to say: One, you have a dirty mind. Two, you didn’t read your homework. And three, one day you are going to be very, very disappointed.”

 

Good sportsmanship

At one point during a game, the coach called one of his nine-year-old baseball players aside and asked, ‘Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?’ 

The little boy nodded in the affirmative. 

‘Do you understand that what matters is whether we win or lose together as a team?’

The little boy nodded ‘yes’.

‘So,’ the coach continued, ‘I’m sure you know, when an out is called, you shouldn’t argue, curse, attack the umpire, or call him a pecker-head, dickhead or asshole. Do you understand all that? ‘ 

The little boy nodded ‘yes’ again. 

He continued, ‘And when I take you out of the game so another boy gets a chance to play too, it’s not good sportsmanship to call your coach “a dumb ass or sh*thead” is it?’ 

The little boy shook his head ‘NO’. 

‘GOOD’, said the coach . . . 

‘Now go over there and explain all that to your grandmother!’

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