The gay flight attendant

The pastor’s teeth
A Pastor goes to the dentist for a set of false teeth. The first Sunday after he gets his new teeth, he talks for only eight minutes. The second Sunday, he talks for only 10 minutes. The following Sunday, he talks for two hours and 48 minutes.

The congregation has to mob him to get him down from the pulpit, and they ask him what happened.

The Pastor explains the first Sunday his gums hurt so badly he couldn’t talk for more than eight minutes. The second Sunday his gums hurt too much to talk for more than 10 minutes. But on the third Sunday, he put his wife’s false teeth in by accident and suddenly he couldn’t shut up…

The gay flight attendant
My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks.

As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told us that “The captain has asked me to announce that he’ll be landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up, that would be super.”

On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed a well-dressed, Arabic looking woman hadn’t moved a muscle. “Perhaps you didn’t hear me over those big brute engines, but I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground.”

She calmly turned her head and said, “In my country, I am called a Princess and I take orders from no one.”

To which (I swear) the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, “Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I’m called a Queen, so I outrank you. Tray-up, Bitch!”

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