You’re never too mature to enjoy toilet humour. Let your inner child out and have a giggle over these silly – and somewhat revolting – toilet jokes.
I farted at work the other day and my co-worker started trying to open the window.
It must have been a really bad one – we work in a submarine.
An old married couple are in church on a Sunday morning when the woman turns to her husband and says, “I’ve just let out a really long, silent fart. What should I do?”
The husband turns to her and says, “Replace the batteries in your hearing aid.”
Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it was stuck in a crack.
What do starship Enterprise and toilet paper have in common?
They both circle Ur-anus looking for Kling-Ons!
This morning I was buttoning up my shirt a button fell off. When I reached for my briefcase, the handle fell off. Then, when I tried to open the front door the doorknob fell off. Now I’m afraid to pee.
Why is everyone stockpiling toilet paper because of coronavirus?
I didn’t realise sneezing made you poo your pants.
A wife sent her husband a romantic text message. She wrote, “If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you.”
Her husband texted back, “I’m on the toilet, please advise.”
Why doesn’t Chuck Norris need to flush the toilet?
He scares the sh*t out of it!
Why did the policeman sit on the toilet?
To do his duty.
I was at a fancy dinner party the other day, when I farted loudly. One of the guests was appalled and said indignantly, “How dare you fart in front of my wife!”
I said, “I’m sorry, I didn’t realise it was her turn next.”
What’s brown and sticky?
The toilet said, “I’m sick of taking everyone’s crap!”
The urinal replied, “Yes, but it’s better to be pissed off than pissed in!”
When you get a bladder infection you know urine trouble.
Did we forget any terrible toilet jokes? Share your favourites in the comment section below.
If you enjoy our content, don’t keep it to yourself. Share our free eNews with your friends and encourage them to sign up.