We went fishing for jokes and hooked a bagful

Font Size:

Fishing for jokes, we decided it was time to mine one of the all-time great treasure troves  – fishing, of course.

•••

Jack: Why didn’t Noah do much fishing on the ark?
Jill: Search me. Why?
Jack: He had only two worms.

•••

Matt: What do you get when you cross a fishing lure with a sport sock?
Rick: I don’t know. What?
Matt: A hook, line and stinker!

•••

Max: What kind of music should you listen to while fishing?
Nick: Beats me.
Max: Something catchy!

•••

Little Eddy and his mum were digging for bait in the garden. Uncovering a many-legged creature, Eddy proudly dangled it before his mom.
“No, honey, it won’t do for bait,” she said. “It’s not an earthworm.”
“It’s not?” Eddy asked, his eyes wide. “What planet is it from?”

•••

Fishing inspector: Didn’t you see the no-fishing sign, son?
Boy: I’m not fishing, sir. I’m teaching these worms how to swim!

•••

Thomas: How do you communicate with a fish?
Russ: I don’t know.
Thomas: Drop it a line!

•••

A monastery is in financial trouble, so it goes into the fish-and-chips business to raise money. One night a customer knocks on its door. A monk answers. The customer asks: “Are you the fish friar?”
“No,” he replies. “I’m the chip monk.”

•••

Diner: Waiter, waiter, what’s wrong with this fish?
Waiter: Long time no sea, sir.

•••

Tom: What does every fisherman want?
Terry: What?
Tom: A gillfriend.

•••

A.J.: Did you hear about the fight at the seafood restaurant?
Nico: No, what happened?
A.J.: Two fish got battered!

•••

Three fishermen were fishing when they came upon a mermaid. The mermaid offered them one wish each so the first fisherman said: “Double my IQ”. The mermaid did it and to his surprise he started reciting Shakespeare. The second fisherman said: “Triple my IQ” and sure enough the mermaid did it and amazingly he started doing math problems he didn’t know existed. The third fisherman was so impressed he asked the mermaid to quadruple his IQ. The mermaid said: “Are you sure about this? It will change your whole life.” The fisherman excitingly said: “Yes”. The mermaid turned him into a woman.

•••

One day, Frank and Bob were out fishing.

A funeral service passes over the bridge they’re fishing near, and Bob takes off his hat and puts it over his heart. He does this until the funeral service passes by.

Frank then said: “Gee Bob, I didn’t know you had it in you!”

Bob then replies: “It’s the least I could do. After all, I was married to her for 30 years.”

•••

Do you have a favourite fishing joke to share?

RELATED LINKS

Why men and women of faith are the funniest

Laughs from behind the pulpit deliver real rib-ticklers.

Friday Funnies: An interesting sales technique

A kid takes a new approach to selling toothbrushes, while another meets a pirate.

Friday Funnies from the heart – for the heart

On World Heart Day, we decided laughter was the best treatment for a healthy heart.

Written by Janelle Ward



SPONSORED LINKS

Sign-up to the YourLifeChoices Enewsletter

continue reading

Superannuation News

Super fund recovery steps up pace

Long-term trends such as the digitisation or economies and work automation, which have been sped up by the COVID-19 pandemic,...

Finance News

Financial advisers lobby for permanent reduction in regulation

The financial services sector wants consumer protection laws watered down, claiming they are pushing the cost of financial advice beyond...

Legal & General

Is there a safe way to block estranged child from will?

Can Angie block an estranged daughter from her will without consigning her other children to a drawn-out challenge after her...

Health

How to stop gas pain

Flatulence, commonly referred to as 'farting', is caused by gas in the bowel. Ordinarily, the intestines produce between 500 and...

Chicken

Crumbed Chicken Three Ways

Discover how to make crumbed chicken with three different toppings, so you’re never short of a recipe again. Ingredients Main...

COVID-19

Over 50s to receive COVID jab earlier than expected

Australians over the age of 50 could soon receive the AstraZeneca vaccine earlier than expected after the states and territories agreed...

Lifestyle

Signs you order too much stuff online

Online shopping can be a dangerous hobby. A few absent-minded clicks on a lazy Sunday morning can empty your bank...

Food and Recipes

Vegetarian Biryani with a twist

Created by Iraqi chef Dhuha from Eat Offbeat, the New York catering company that employs refugees who have resettled in...

LOADING MORE ARTICLE...