Who doesn’t love a naughty joke? Today’s Friday Funnies are slightly salacious and, though they may border on the bawdy, they’re so big on fun that you’re sure to share them with your friends.
Flattery
A lady comes home from her doctor’s appointment, grinning from ear to ear.
Her husband asks, “Why are you so happy?”
The wife says, “The doctor told me that for a 55-year-old woman, I have the breasts of an 18-year-old.”
“Oh yeah?” quipped her husband, “What did he say about your 55-year-old arse?”
She said, “Your name never came up in the conversation.”
•••
The blind man
Mother Superior tells two new nuns they must paint their room without getting any paint on their clothes.
One nun suggests to the other, “Hey, let’s take all our clothes off, fold them up, and lock the door.”
So they do this, and begin painting their room. Soon they hear a knock at the door.
They ask, “Who is it?”
“Blind man!” a man says.
The nuns look at each other and one nun says, “He’s blind, so he can’t see. What could it hurt?” So they let him in.
The blind man walks in and says, “Hey, nice boobs. Where do you want me to hang the blinds?”
•••
Dam fish
A boy is selling fish on a corner. To get his customers’ attention, he is yelling, “Dam fish for sale! Get your dam fish here!”
A pastor hears this and asks, “Why are you calling them ‘dam fish’?”
The boy responds, “Because I caught these fish at the local dam.”
The pastor buys a couple of fish, takes them home to his wife, and asks her to cook the dam fish. Surprised, the wife responds, “I didn’t know it was acceptable for a preacher to speak that way.”
He explains to her why they are called dam fish. Later, at the dinner table, he asks his son to pass the dam fish. His son responds, “That’s the spirit, Dad! Now pass the f**king potatoes!”
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