Why did the cat join the Red Cross?
Because she wanted to be a first-aid kit
What did the cat say when he lost all his money?
I’m paw!
What happened when the cat ate a ball of wool?
She had mittens!
What happens when it rains cats and dogs?
You can step in a poodle!
What is the cat’s favourite TV show?
The evening mews!
What did Rover say when he sat on his doghouse?
Roof! Roof!
What’s the unluckiest kind of cat to have?
A catastrophe!
How is cat food sold?
Usually purr can!
What do you get if you cross a cat with a tree?
A cat-a-logue!
What do you call a cat with eight legs that likes to swim?
An octopuss!
If there is H2O on the inside of a fire hydrant, what is on the outside?
K9P.
How dogs are better than men
10. Dogs understand what “no” means.
9. The worst social disease you can get from dogs is fleas.
8. Dogs are easy to buy for.
7. You can train a dog.
6. Dogs do not play games with you-except fetch (and they never laugh at how you throw.)
5. Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out.
4. Dogs admit when they’re jealous.
3. Dogs feel guilty when they’ve done something wrong.
2. Dogs miss you when you’re gone.
1. Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public.
Ten reasons why a dog is better than a woman
10. A dog’s parents will never visit you.
9. A dog loves you when you leave your clothes on the floor.
8. A dog limits its time in the bathroom to a quick drink.
7. A dog never expects you to telephone.
6. A dog will not get mad at you if you forget its birthday.
5. A dog does not care about the previous dogs in your life.
4. A dog does not get mad at you if you pet another dog.
3. A dog never expects flowers on Valentine’s Day.
2. The later you are, the happier a dog is to see you.
1. A dog does not shop.
