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Rip-snorting family funnies

Aren’t families funny? We certainly think so. Need a laugh? Then check out today’s rip-snorting family funnies.

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If they have avocados …
A wife asks her husband, “Could you please go shopping for me and buy a carton of milk and if they have avocados, get six.

A short time later, the husband comes back with six cartons of milk.

The wife asks him, “Why did you buy six cartons of milk?”

He replied, “They had avocados.”

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Water in the carburettor
Son: “There is trouble with the car. It has water in the carburettor.”

Father: “Water in the carburettor? That’s ridiculous.”

Son: “I tell you the car has water in the carburettor.”

Father: “You don’t even know what a carburettor is. I’ll check it out. Where’s the car?

Son: “In the river.”

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A frightening statistic!
Around 25 per cent of the men in this country are on medication for mental illness, which is scary because it means 75 per cent are running around untreated.

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He must pay!
A husband and wife had a tiff. The wife called up her mum and said: “He fought with me again, so I’m coming to live with you.”

To which the mum replied: “No darling, he must pay for his mistake. I am coming to live with you.”

•••

Today’s short reading from the Bible …
From Genesis: “And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the earth.”

Then He made the earth round … and He laughed and laughed and laughed.

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