Friday Funnies: six quick knee-slappers

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From becoming cagier as we age, to wondering just what makes a hipster, these six knee-slappers will have you rolling in the aisles.

•••

The average age of people living in our retirement community is 85. Recently, a neighbour turned 100 and a big birthday party was thrown. Even his son turned up.

“How old are you?” a tenant asked.

“I’m 81 years old,” he answered.

The tenant shook her head. “They sure grow up fast, don’t they?”

•••

“Poor old fool,” thought the well-dressed gentleman as he watched an older man fishing in a puddle outside a pub. So he invited the old man inside for a drink. As they sipped their whiskies, the gentleman thought he’d humour the man and asked, “So how many have you caught today?”

The older man replied, “You’re the eighth.”

•••

A man came into the clinic to have an MRI. He was put into the machine by an attractive, young technician. Sometime later, when the examination was over, he was helped out of the machine by a far older woman. The man remarked, “How long was I in there for?”

•••

While he was visiting, my father asked for the password to our wifi.

“It’s taped under the modem,” ?I told him.

After three failed attempts to log on, he asked, “Am I spelling this right? T-A-P-E-D-U-N-D-E-R-T-H-E-M-O-D-E-M?”

•••

“What’s a hipster?” asked my four-year-old cousin.

“Someone who will wear something just to look different,” I said. “They’ll often buy clothes in thrift shops and wear thick glasses.”

“Is Grandma a hipster?” he asked.

•••

In the hardware store, a clerk asked, “Can I help you find anything?”

“How about my misspent youth,” joked my husband.

The clerk shot back, “We keep that in the back, between world peace and winning lottery tickets.”

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