Fresh from my shower, I stood in front of the mirror complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small.
Instead of romantically telling me this is not true, he uncharacteristically comes up with this suggestion: “If you want your breasts to grow, then take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between them for a few seconds three times every day.”
Willing to try anything, I got a piece of toilet paper and stood in front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts.
“How long will this take?” I asked.
“They will grow larger over a period of years,” my husband replied.
I stopped. “Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts three times every day will make my breasts larger over the years?”
Without missing a beat he said, “Worked for your bum, didn’t it?”
The idiot is still alive, and with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk again, although he will probably continue to take his meals through a straw.
Stupid, stupid man …
