Friday, March 29, 2024
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Friday Funnies: Eggcellent Easter jokes

Easter is a time when we celebrate Jesus dying on the cross by getting a bunny rabbit to hide chocolate eggs! With a leap of logic like that, it is easy to see why there are so many jokes about the season. Here are three of our favourites. Please enjoy and then share your own below.

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A man was driving along the highway, when he saw the Easter Bunny hopping across the road. He swerved to avoid hitting him, but to no avail. The basket of eggs went flying all over the place.

The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over and got out to see what had become of the bunny carrying the basket. Much to his dismay, the Bunny was dead.

The driver felt guilty and began to cry.

A woman driving down the same highway saw the man crying on the side of the road and pulled over. She stepped out of her car and asked the man what was wrong.

“I feel terrible,” he explained, “I accidentally hit the Easter Bunny and killed it. What should I do?”

The woman told the man not to worry. She knew exactly what to do. She went to her car, and pulled out a spray can. She walked over to the limp, dead bunny, and sprayed the entire contents of the can onto the little furry animal.

Miraculously, the Easter Bunny came to back life, jumped up, picked up the spilled eggs and candy, waved its paw at the two humans and hopped on down the road. When he got 20 metres away, the Easter Bunny stopped, turned around, waved and hopped on down the road for another 20 metres, then turned, waved, hopped another 20 metres and waved again!

The man was astonished. He said to the woman: “What in heaven’s name is in your spray can?” The woman turned the can around so that the man could read the label. It said: “Hair spray. Restores life to dead hair. Adds permanent wave.”

•••

A farmer plays a prank on Easter Sunday. After the egg hunt, he sneaks into the chicken coop and replaces every white egg with a brightly coloured one.

Minutes later, the rooster walks in. He spots the coloured eggs, then storms out and beats up the peacock.

•••

Why don’t rabbits get hot in the summer?
They have hare conditioning.

•••

What kind of jewellery does the Easter Bunny wear?

14 carrot gold

•••

What do you call the Easter Bunny the day after Easter?

Eggshausted

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A man, his wife, and his cranky mother-in-law went on vacation to the Holy Land. While they were there, the mother-in-law passed away.

The undertaker told them,: “You can have her shipped home for $5000 or you can bury her here in the Holy Land for $150”.

The man thought about it for a while and told the undertaker he would just have her shipped home.

The undertaker asked: “Why would you spend $5000 to ship your mother-in-law home when it would be wonderful to be buried here and spend only $150?”

The man said: “A man died here about 2000 years ago. He was buried here and three days later, he rose from the dead. I just can’t take that chance.”

•••

A young boy was in church on Easter Sunday with his mother, when he started feeling sick.

“Mum,” he said, “can we leave now?”

“No,” she replied, “the service isn’t over yet.”

“Well, I think I’m about to throw up,” the boy announced.

“Then go out of the front door and around to the back of the church and throw up behind a bush,” said his mother.

After about 60 seconds, the boy returned to his pew, alongside his mother.

“Did you throw up?” she asked quietly.

“Yes,” the boy answered, embarrassed.

“How could you have gone all the way to the back of the church and returned so quickly?” the mum demanded.

“I didn’t have to go out of the church. They have a box next to the front door that says, For the Sick.”

Have you heard any other eggcellent Easter jokes?

Also read: 20 of the best worst jokes ever

YourLifeChoices Writers
YourLifeChoices Writershttp://www.yourlifechoices.com.au/
YourLifeChoices' team of writers specialise in content that helps Australian over-50s make better decisions about wealth, health, travel and life. It's all in the name. For 22 years, we've been helping older Australians live their best lives.
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