Top three eggcellent Easter jokes

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Easter is a time when we celebrate Jesus dying on the cross by getting a bunny rabbit to hide chocolate eggs! With a leap of logic like that, it is easy to see why there are so many jokes about the season. Here are three of our favourites. Please enjoy and then share your own below.

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A man was driving along the highway, when he saw the Easter Bunny hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting him, but to no avail. The basket of eggs went flying all over the place.

The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side of the road, and got out to see what had become of the Bunny carrying the basket. Much to his dismay, the Bunny was dead.

The driver felt guilty and began to cry. 

A woman driving down the same highway saw the man crying on the side of the road and pulled over. She stepped out of her car and asked the man what was wrong.

“I feel terrible,” he explained, “I accidentally hit the Easter Bunny and killed it. What should I do?”

The woman told the man not to worry. She knew exactly what to do. She went to her car, and pulled out a spray can. She walked over to the limp, dead Bunny, and sprayed the entire contents of the can onto the little furry animal.

Miraculously, the Easter Bunny came to back life, jumped up, picked up the spilled eggs and candy, waved its paw at the two humans and hopped on down the road. When he got 20 metres away, the Easter Bunny stopped, turned around, waved and hopped on down the road for another 20 metres, then turned, waved, hopped another 20 metres and waved again!

The man was astonished. He said to the woman, “What in heaven’s name is in your spray can?” The woman turned the can around so that the man could read the label. It said: “Hair spray. Restores life to dead hair. Adds permanent wave.”

•••

A farmer plays a prank on Easter Sunday. After the egg hunt, he sneaks into the chicken coop and replaces every white egg with a brightly coloured one.

Minutes later, the rooster walks in. He spots the coloured eggs, then storms out and beats up the peacock.

•••

Jesus is playing a round of golf with Moses in Heaven and they come upon a water trap.

Jesus turns to Moses and asks, “Didn’t you do something with water once?” and Moses says yeah, and proceeds to do the trick where he parts the waters.

Jesus is impressed, and Moses in turn asks, “Didn’t you also do something with water?”

Jesus says, “Yeah, watch this” and proceeds to step out onto the water, but he sinks almost immediately to his knees. He gets out, gets a running start, and tries again, this time sinking to his waist. He comes out, confused and embarrassed, and Moses asks, “What was it you were trying to do?”

“I used to be able to walk on water,” Jesus replies.

“The last time you tried it,” Moses asks, “Did you have those holes in your feet?”

•••

Have you heard any other eggcellent Easter jokes?

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5 Comments

Total Comments: 5
  1. 0
    0

    This last ‘joke’ is sick. Need some new brains in the jokes dept.

  2. 0
    0

    Yes, it’s offensive

  3. 0
    0

    yes it’s time Christians had a ”say”

  4. 0
    0

    The last joke is fine. Don’t listen to the politically correct amongst us.

  5. 0
    0

    Good thing these jokes weren’t about the prophet Muhammed.


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