Enjoy these caffeinated jokes while you sip your morning coffee. They may even improve the best part of your day.
Barista, “How do you take your coffee?”
Me, trying to sound impressive, “Very, very seriously.”
What do you call a sad cup of coffee?
Sleep is a weaker substitute for coffee.
What do coffee beans and kids have in common?
They’re always getting grounded.
How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank his coffee before it was cool.
Husband, “Honey, this coffee tastes like dirt.”
Wife, “Well that’s no surprise, it was just ground this morning!”
What kind of coffee do birds drink?
There are two types of people in this world.
People who love coffee, and people who lie.
How are men like coffee?
The best ones are hot, rich and can keep you up all night.
A pair of jumper cables walk into a cafe. The barista sees them and says, “I’m sorry but I’ll have to ask you to leave. I don’t want you starting anything in here.”
A man walked into a café and was hit by the smell of roasting coffee and was overwhelmed by fond memories. Throwing his arms in the air he yelled, “I’m having déjà brew!”
Why shouldn’t you discuss coffee in polite company?
It can make for a strong, heated debate.
What do you call a cow that has just given birth?
A man went to his doctor for a check-up, “Doctor, doctor! I think there’s something wrong with me! Every time I take a sip of coffee, I get a stabbing pain in my right eye.”
“I see,” replied the doctor. “Have you tried taking the spoon out?”
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