Friday Funnies: The barista and the spoon

Font Size:

Enjoy these caffeinated jokes while you sip your morning coffee. They may even improve the best part of your day.

Barista, “How do you take your coffee?”
Me, trying to sound impressive, “Very, very seriously.”


What do you call a sad cup of coffee?
Depresso.


Sleep is a weaker substitute for coffee.


What do coffee beans and kids have in common?
They’re always getting grounded.


How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank his coffee before it was cool.


Husband, “Honey, this coffee tastes like dirt.”
Wife, “Well that’s no surprise, it was just ground this morning!”


What kind of coffee do birds drink?
Nest-café.


There are two types of people in this world.
People who love coffee, and people who lie.


How are men like coffee?
The best ones are hot, rich and can keep you up all night.


A pair of jumper cables walk into a cafe. The barista sees them and says, “I’m sorry but I’ll have to ask you to leave. I don’t want you starting anything in here.”


A man walked into a café and was hit by the smell of roasting coffee and was overwhelmed by fond memories. Throwing his arms in the air he yelled, “I’m having déjà brew!”


Why shouldn’t you discuss coffee in polite company?
It can make for a strong, heated debate.


What do you call a cow that has just given birth?
De-calf-inated.


A man went to his doctor for a check-up, “Doctor, doctor! I think there’s something wrong with me! Every time I take a sip of coffee, I get a stabbing pain in my right eye.”
“I see,” replied the doctor. “Have you tried taking the spoon out?”

Did we forget any of your favourite coffee jokes? Share them in the comment section below.

If you enjoy our content, don’t keep it to yourself. Share our free eNews with your friends and encourage them to sign up.

Join YourLifeChoices today
and get this free eBook!

Join
By joining YourLifeChoices you consent that you have read and agree to our Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

RELATED LINKS

Friday Funnies: 2020 in memes

2020: We can either laugh or cry. So why not choose to laugh?

Friday Funnies: The racehorse and the donkey

A horse walks into a bar. The barman asks, "Why the long face?"

Friday Funnies: Politicians

What separates politicians from liars? The ‘and'.

Written by Liv Gardiner

0 Comments

Total Comments: 0

    FACEBOOK COMMENTS



    SPONSORED LINKS

    continue reading

    Resources

    The top-selling-souvenir from every country in the world

    Do you buy souvenirs to remember your overseas holidays? If so, we imagine you have been looking at these very...

    COVID-19

    ACCC to keep a keen eye on travel issues this year

    Australia's consumer watchdog expects to have its hands busy dealing with COVID-affected travel complaints this year. In his annual address...

    Australia

    Cruisers turn to superyachts to satisfy their cruise cravings

    Typically, Australia is one of, if not, the biggest cruise market in the world. It wasn't so long ago that...

    Accommodation

    Tassie's top 5 Airbnbs

    Tasmania does Airbnbs a little differently. Firstly, many stays boast perfect - or very nearly perfect - ratings. Secondly, there...

    Destinations

    The world's first 'museum of hangovers' has opened in Croatia

    The Museum of Hangovers - set up, inevitably, by students - is an homage to pounding headaches, alcoholic antics and...

    COVID-19

    Australian border closure extended until June

    Earlier this week, health minister Greg Hunt confirmed that the "human biosecurity emergency period", which enabled the government to place...

    Destinations

    International borders could reopen in June 2021

    The Business Council of Australia (BCA) is waving a big stick at state and territory governments, with a plan to...

    Australia

    Five epic Aussie adventures

    With international travel on pause, there is no shortage of epic adventures for those lucky enough to be stuck Down...

    LOADING MORE ARTICLE...