Six sex tips to get you in the mood

There are plenty of reasons for people in long-term relationships to reach for the sleeping pills or the remote control instead of seeking out their partner’s body once the lights go out. A healthy sex life is a key part of an intimate relationship, and neglecting it can push the two of you further apart. Here’s six sex tips that may help you get back in the mood for lovin’.

Spice it up

There’s biological evidence that new experiences cause the release of dopamine, which affects the pleasure centre in your brain. New relationships are exciting and your brain acts accordingly, which is why sex with a new partner seems so much easier.

You can’t trade in your partner every time the excitement level drops, but you can tweak other factors of your relationship. Consider a different place, a different time or a different position. Have a morning quickie. Try sex in the shower (with care of course!) or in a different room in the house.

Take a ‘quick’ break

At the end of a long day, it can sometimes be difficult to find the energy to expend on romancing. Instead of arriving home and immediately starting on household tasks, make time for a romantic ‘nude interlude’. Even a quickie will do wonders for your relationship.

Rediscover each other

If you’ve had a dry spell – sexually speaking – then the idea of having sex can feel a little forced. If you haven’t had any kind of quality time together, you’re just not going to feel sexually inclined. The simple fix for this is to try spending time together in a non-sexual way.

Make your meetings a priority on your calendar – just one date per week will make all the difference. Ensure that it’s a shared experience, such as biking, wandering around a farmer’s market, or sipping a Sunday latté. Once it becomes habitual, you’ll feel reconnected and the desire will grow from there.

Focus on what you like

Many of us have things we’d like to change about our bodies. Ultimately, low self-image comes down to not being in love with yourself. And if you feel that way, you’re less likely to share yourself with someone else. Short of seeking therapy for low self-esteem, you can try finding things about yourself or your partner that you do like and focus on those sexually.

Don’t suffer in silence

Sometimes sex can be a bit painful for women approaching menopause, because as women age, their oestrogen levels decrease. This means organ tissues, including the vagina, can become thinner and lose some of their blood supply, so intercourse becomes more painful.

Fortunately, there are remedies for these issues. Speak to your doctor about vaginal oestrogen or you can try an over-the-counter vaginal lubricant. If this doesn’t provide the antidote for your pain, it’s best to see your doctor to check on the possiblity of a more serious condition.

Still not in the mood?

A waning libido may also be a sign other health problems. Conditions such as depression, anxiety and hormonal imbalances can all contribute to sexual dysfunction. For the men, not being able to have an erection can be an indicator of diabetes or heart disease. And some medications, such as antidepressants and blood pressure drugs, can also lower your sex drive, as can lack of sleep, smoking and excessive alcohol consumption.

If your are concerned by your low sex drive, it’s best to speak with your health care provider, who can help you explore your alternatives and possible treatments.

Reconnecting with your partner sexually may take some effort. Like relationships, sex takes work, and you’ve got to be prepared to do the hard yards in order to reap the rewards.

Do you have any secret tips to help with a diminished libido? Why not share them?

Written by Leon Della Bosca

Publisher of YourLifeChoices – Australia's most-trusted and longest-running retirement website. A trusted voice on Australia's retirement landscape, including retirement income and planning, government entitlements, lifestyle and news and information relevant to Australians over 50. Leon has worked in publishing for more than 25 years and is also a travel writer and editor, graphic designer and photographer.

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