Enjoying a sexy retirement

Is lots of sex the secret to a happy retirement?

Enjoying a sexy retirement

Is lots of sex the secret to a happy retirement? Well, it’s certainly true that sexually active retirees tend to be happier, says Bettina Arndt.

It makes sense, of course. There’s nothing like physical intimacy to create a rosy glow and that vital sense of connection. And it can even beat a round of golf for hearty exercise, depending upon your level of enthusiasm.

According to a Florida University survey of 239 married people, 60 per cent of married folk who had sex more than once a month were “very happy” with their life in general, compared with just 40 per cent of those who had not had sex for more than a year. That doesn’t mean couples who prefer to read a book or have a good night’s sleep were miserable with each other – 59 per cent who reported no sexual activity in the last 12 months still said they were happily married. But it stands to reason that couples still keen on the dancing doona will have an extra level of intimacy.

Unfortunately, the togetherness that retirement brings sometimes highlights the flaws in a marriage. Divorce is a growing hazard facing older married men. The percentage of divorces involving men over 50 more than doubled between 1985 and 2010 – leaping from 11 to 22 per cent for men in their 50s and four to 10 per cent for men aged 60 plus. And it’s mainly wives who choose to opt out – a Family Court study by Pauline Presland and Helen Gluckstern showed that women made the decision to leave in two-thirds of mature aged marital separations; a finding supported by a recent study from Bowling Green State University in the US.

The Australian researchers found that it was the prospect of spending the rest of their lives in unhappy, unfulfilling relationships that inspired these older women to end their marriages. As one woman put it: “At this time of my life, my children have all left home. I felt I was just part of the furniture and needed someone to notice me. I decided if I stayed any longer I’d be stuck forever.”

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    COMMENTS

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    13th Jun 2014
    10:02am
    Well I wondered why I crave lots of fresh raw oysters. I have that sparkle and glow. Wow, that's living. !!!!!
    MICK
    13th Jun 2014
    10:29am
    I was hoping to have a bit of a chuckle but no takers on this one. So where are all the tough talking men? Tell us what you're made of guys.
    particolor
    13th Jun 2014
    3:54pm
    As soon as I've Finished My Stout and Oysters OK ??
    Foxy
    13th Jun 2014
    6:03pm
    lol lol lol - I was hoping to see you here Parti - lol - you always make me laugh so much! Thankyou!
    particolor
    13th Jun 2014
    6:18pm
    I don't really try to, but I think it Heralds back to My days in Charley Chaplin Script Writing Team ??.. And what I read on here At Times deserves it !! ..
    particolor
    13th Jun 2014
    6:21pm
    PS ..I forgot Dogs Body ??.. I'll wait till He's finished with His Foreplay I think ??
    Anonymous
    14th Jun 2014
    2:00pm
    Mick, I am only interested in the ladies. Buggar the men. Phew particolor, I knew there was many a good tune played on an old fiddle.
    particolor
    14th Jun 2014
    3:29pm
    And that other Blog Many a Good Story Read in an Old Bible ??
    Polly Esther
    13th Jun 2014
    1:37pm
    Talking about Viagra, you'd be stiff if you didn't need it.
    particolor
    13th Jun 2014
    4:09pm
    As Stiff as a Fly at a Frog Meeting You think ??
    Anonymous
    14th Jun 2014
    2:02pm
    Stiff outta luck if you need that stuff. Try Spanish fly and deer velvet. And the cow jumped over the moon. Never felt better.
    Judy in the hills
    13th Jun 2014
    2:06pm
    I was slightly surprised to see the emphasis in this article "blaming" women for the reduction in sexual activity as the years slip by. I think it would be more like a 50-50 fail rate from what I know and what I hear from my friends!
    particolor
    13th Jun 2014
    4:11pm
    Yes it is 50/50 Judy..She says NO !! And He has to agree !!
    Anonymous
    14th Jun 2014
    2:06pm
    Well the ladies always seem to have a head ache. Can't see how that stops them.
    particolor
    30th Jun 2014
    10:35am
    Dogs ..When are You going to learn Headache Means.."NO!!"..
    Antidote.... I know You've got a Headache Dear,so I've bought you a glass of water and 2 Panadol !"
    buby
    13th Jun 2014
    2:44pm
    I think Joe Hockey would take away anybodies sex Drive, for fear of being taxed???
    particolor
    13th Jun 2014
    3:59pm
    At times it IS a Taxing Chore !! You get home from a HARD days work at the Sausage Factory , and She already has Her Kit Off !!...OOOOOO??!!
    Anonymous
    14th Jun 2014
    2:08pm
    Kit and caboodle !!! Wow she is a cracker.
    particolor
    13th Jun 2014
    4:06pm
    I didn't click next to Keep Reading !!.. I'm still wondering what that Queen Anne Table is doing in the kitchen ??
    particolor
    13th Jun 2014
    4:21pm
    I think they are game Sticking One Up like this ?? Wait till the Sex Maniacs Spot It !!
    Adrianus
    13th Jun 2014
    4:11pm
    It takes me about 3.5 hours to play a round of golf so I obviously need to work a little harder for that hole in one to come off.
    particolor
    13th Jun 2014
    4:14pm
    I took 4 on a Par Three the other day !!
    particolor
    13th Jun 2014
    4:30pm
    She should go Shopping in Her Birthday Suit !! She will get Noticed !!
    Anonymous
    14th Jun 2014
    2:11pm
    They might throw the book at her.

    14th Jun 2014
    2:04pm
    Rather amused at the expressions on the pair at the top of this article. I think she is saying please and he is saying when!!! He looks very perplexed.
    particolor
    14th Jun 2014
    3:35pm
    He looks like He is saying..." What !! Again ??"
    Adrianus
    15th Jun 2014
    12:36pm
    I can understand that the article is drawing a correlation between sex and happiness but my question is which of the 2 has more influence over the other? Or is it simply a matter of feeling sexy when you're happy regardless of age?
    HOLA
    15th Jun 2014
    2:50pm
    By the time we are at old age, many people seem to have lost the urge for a good night of sex. Some seem to prefer to watch a porno, so they can fantasize how it used to be. And lets face it, if one is suffering with Arthritis or joint problems it could take all night to get on the job. Some men with Prostate and high cholesterol can't even manage an erection. My husband was told by his doctor that high cholesterol was one of the major causes of impotence.
    particolor
    15th Jun 2014
    3:42pm
    If Your Happy and You Know it, Clap Your Hands!!
    If Your Happy and You Know it, Clap Your Hands !!!
    If Your happy and You Know it !!!
    Then You really aughta Show IT !.
    Then be greeted by the Usual ! PUT THAT AWAY !!
    Adrianus
    15th Jun 2014
    4:45pm
    Its a real problem if the pain and discomfort is a deterrent to sexual enjoyment. Even if it takes all night to get the job done it is well worth it, unless it leaves you with more pain than you already had. We need more people like Bettina cheering us from the sidelines with words of encouragement.
    Adrianus
    15th Jun 2014
    4:47pm
    particolor, look at the bright side. You were happy for a moment. ha ha ha!!
    particolor
    15th Jun 2014
    5:09pm
    Problem Solved Frank A VOLTARIN And a VIAGRA ?? ..No Pain ALL Gain !!..
    We'll call it the VOLTAGRA Solution !!..
    Kiddies..Do not do this at Home ! Without Insulting Your Doctor !!
    particolor
    15th Jun 2014
    5:15pm
    Frank.. Bettina should write More Encouraging Articles like this !!...
    Beats Boring Politics any Day !!..
    Signed..Rasputin.....
    Adrianus
    15th Jun 2014
    5:53pm
    When it comes to sex, religion and politics you need to get your priorities in order. Let's face it. Man is wired a certain way for survival of the species. It's a good thing that it's also very enjoyable. But some of Bettina's statistics worry me. Particularly with the women in Florida. Two thirds of them deciding to walk out on their marriage is an indication that Florida men are not keeping up their end. If they have sex more than once a month they are very happy. It should be standard. At our age why worry about the calendar?
    particolor
    15th Jun 2014
    6:13pm
    I think there might be to much Fluoride in their Florida Water !!..
    Once a Knight always a Knight !!
    But once a Night is barely Enough !!
    Helenc
    15th Jun 2014
    7:58pm
    After being in a bad marriage for more than 20 years I initiated the divorce, I could not stand to be in the same room with him, he was verbally and emotionally abusive. Emotionally, I exited the marriage at least 15 years before the actual break up. When I was with my ex, I was turned off sex completely, dead from the neck down. He wanted sex on demand, and I always complied to keep the peace.

    I used to dread spending retirement with him in the house with me all day. I hated coming home from work and having to cook for him everyday, during the marriage, we only went out to dinner twice. TWICE!!

    I have been officially free for two years now and the divorce was the best decision I have ever made. My body works fine and I enjoy sex again.

    I think the problem is that sex in marriage becomes just another chore for many women, add an abusive and nasty husband and you have a recipe for intense hatred and resentment that leads to divorce.

    I do not plan on remarrying, I don't want to be someones housekeeper/cook/sexslave or nurse. I intend to enjoy the rest of my life and I have no regrets. I would rather die alone, IN MY OWN HOUSE, rather than have a husband again.
    particolor
    15th Jun 2014
    8:06pm
    WELL !! That was conclusive !!!..
    I don't suppose if He had taken You out for Dinner 3 times Would have made any difference ??
    Adrianus
    16th Jun 2014
    6:55am
    Helenc, thanks for sharing that with us. I have no idea what the statistics could be but there must be many people who are in similar relationship situations and don't realise the many choices available. You had the courage to make the change.
    buby
    6th Jun 2016
    8:44pm
    Helen your a very brave woman, good on you.
    I too moved on after i while, cause i suffered the same.
    Now been on my own for 23yrs, and never been happier.
    cheers
    jas
    17th Jun 2014
    6:22pm
    <3 ~~~~ wWw .SeniorPeopleClub . cOm ~~~~~ <3 its Dating site .here old age people can find the rich and healthy above 50+ people Near by your area. Its usa top and best dating site try it now ….<3
    buby
    17th Jun 2014
    6:47pm
    what makes you think we are that desperate Jas......who cares about the site!!
    particolor
    17th Jun 2014
    6:56pm
    You don't look a Day over 16 ??
    Adrianus
    17th Jun 2014
    7:53pm
    If anyone on this site wants a date they will be contacting Bettina.
    particolor
    6th Jun 2016
    11:31am
    I think ALL the World Leaders at the Moment need a Date with the Psychiatrist !!
    buby
    6th Jun 2016
    8:47pm
    INDEED paricolor lol
    Precious 1
    1st Oct 2014
    10:29pm
    I truly believe what has been written by Betina here...The thing is finding an attractive responsive male to share our older life with...some really ruin it all before it begins and give us women retirees the feeling they are either experimenting or have several partners or we are someone with no intelligence and want to rush into it.. bed I mean straightaway on first meeting....Doreen..... I get disillusioned...help.....
    poptoc
    6th Jun 2016
    11:15am
    Yes ,memories are good.
    Have had to back to doggy style i.e.Roll over and beg!!
    Napoleon
    17th Aug 2016
    10:54am
    I learned a long time ago my place in this marriage - I am the wife but the farm is his MISTRESS.
    particolor
    17th Aug 2016
    3:00pm
    Goat Farm ? :-)


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