Friday Flash Poll: Setting the record straight about sex and ageing

Do you still find people your age ‘hot’? Is sex still important to you?

Setting the record straight about sex and ageing

Last week, we came across an interesting set of interviews on Vice, where a journalist hit the pavement asking older Australians if they thought people of their age were still hot.

Responses, as you could imagine, were varied, but most revolved around ‘hotness’ not being so important in later years. In fact, the consensus is that hotness starts to diminish between the ages of 30 and 50. Still, many rated other factors, such as manners, kindness, sense of humour and presentation as important.

We’ve written many articles about sex and ageing and have always been under the impression that sex is still an important part of ageing.

But we thought we’d ask you to set the record straight. So, in today’s Friday Flash Poll, we’re after your input about sex, attraction and what’s important to relationships in your later years.

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And of course, we welcome your comments below!





    COMMENTS

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    On the Ball
    30th Nov 2018
    10:22am
    When your partner reaches satisfaction with their life, they feel there is no longer any need to be attractive.
    Got kids. Got a secure future. Got all the money they want. Time to sit on the lounge and watch the soaps.
    leonYLC
    30th Nov 2018
    10:43am
    Love your work On the Ball!
    MICK
    30th Nov 2018
    11:30am
    You have not mentioned one important word: HORMONES.
    Anecdotally women have the kids and then cease to work. Some keep on keeping on but I suspect they are in a very small minority.
    Am I right girls?
    TREBOR
    30th Nov 2018
    11:47am
    I've known ladies of 72 (Iwas 51 at the time) who were pretty damned good....
    TREBOR
    30th Nov 2018
    11:47am
    One such had four kids...... didn't slow her down much. I think it is very individual.
    MICK
    30th Nov 2018
    11:59am
    There are exceptions to any and every rule TREBOR. My comment was lamenting about the majority and I suspect I may be correct in that demographic
    TREBOR
    30th Nov 2018
    1:07pm
    Experience shows you are likely right....
    Grateful
    30th Nov 2018
    11:27am
    Last question is very subjective. Could put several times a day, even just a pat on the bum is "stimulating".
    MICK
    30th Nov 2018
    12:00pm
    Funny.
    Snowwhite
    30th Nov 2018
    11:36am
    That’s a ridiculous question when does “hotness” expire in a relationship. Everyone is different and every couple have different needs. It’s up to the couples to decide what makes them both happy.
    MICK
    30th Nov 2018
    12:01pm
    Yes...but statistics are what they are.
    Troubadour
    1st Dec 2018
    3:12pm
    Never liked that term 'hotness' - many older people are still very attractive and desirable - 'hotness' does not have anything to do with it -
    a silly and much over rated term.
    Karl Marx
    30th Nov 2018
    11:45am
    some partners lose all interest in sex & won't have a bar of it even to the point of not helping the other have some relief. Then they wonder why you stray or go to the local brothel or spend a lot of time at bars etc.
    know a bloke in his seventies and once a week his wife takes him to the local brothel & would even see the girl he picked then wait in the car for him. They are still together because she understands her man.
    Sex or lack of it will drive people apart. Sex doesn't stop at a certain age but unfortunately the lack of a sex drive seems to be from the female side but not always in fact woman are far less tolerant than men & more women will end the relationships sooner than men because they are not being sexually satisfied.
    Sometimes it's not really the sex for a lot of people but the affection & intimacy between 2 people that's important. Just to be touched, kissed & fondled will do wonders & if one or both get their rocks off even better.
    There are some very good books on sex & relationships by Bettina Arndt.
    And at nearly seventy I am still very active in the bedroom & sometimes out of it lol
    Anonymous
    30th Nov 2018
    12:15pm
    Shame she didn’t stay in the room and take part
    Karl Marx
    30th Nov 2018
    12:23pm
    Oh my lady partner is just as active as I am Lothario & instagates the romps 50% of the time, lol
    Reagan
    1st Dec 2018
    1:05pm
    See Lothario, 1984 doesn't need a blow up doll!
    TREBOR
    30th Nov 2018
    11:46am
    Be a full-time carer imposes severe limitations on opportunity - I still enjoy chatting and admiring, but that's as far as it can go. I'm always with the person I am carer for, my ex, and that severely dampens my style, since she is nearly totally dependent on me. Not only that, but not many women would consider such a complicated situation.

    Sad, innit?
    MICK
    30th Nov 2018
    12:02pm
    TREBOR - have you noticed that the trolls do not post on topics like this? Only politics.
    Just hit me today. Slow learner!
    Karl Marx
    30th Nov 2018
    12:14pm
    Mick, just googled "how do trolls breed" & this was the 1st thing that came up ROFL

    "Trolls reproduce in a manner similar to frogs. The Female lays clutch of eggs in a stagnant pool of water which the male then fertilizes. When the Young trolls in the eggs hatch after a few weeks they scurry to the nearest tree to escape predators."

    Well it is funnies Friday I suppose lol
    TREBOR
    30th Nov 2018
    3:03pm
    No value for the party line - even if they are just unwitting running dogs/useful idiots, some of those who actually believe in that guff, they feel that party line is the only real way forward. Anyone with any sense knows that neither big party in this nation has the way forward for this nation.

    Sometimes my views may border on certain of the 'left's' views - but that doesn't mean I encompass all of their nonsense.... not by a long shot. Happy middle of the roader for me.
    Adrianus
    3rd Dec 2018
    9:48am
    In case you're wondering, LOL The Turnbull "no bonking rule" doesn't apply to everyone in the country that you disagree with.
    Bazbee
    30th Nov 2018
    12:15pm
    As a general overview, 61% of respondents were male, 91% of all respondents were over 60, 82% of respondents don't use Viagra or a female equivalent. From this I deduce that 50% of the male respondents are liars!
    Munriz
    30th Nov 2018
    3:28pm
    Bazbee...You wait until you reach 70-75 before you deduce that 50% of respondents are liars. On the other hand, you maybe right, too!
    Jennie
    30th Nov 2018
    12:59pm
    The couple in the photo above are not "ageing"....
    Maggie
    30th Nov 2018
    2:27pm
    I agree with you. Nearly every advert you see for retirement homes etc has pictures of glamourous couples in their late fifties or early sixties!

    One of my daughter's friends was outraged when at age 40 she was asked to pose in gym clothing for an ad in a "senior" ad. And no, she did not look older than 40 and had a terrific body . . . .
    Karl Marx
    30th Nov 2018
    2:42pm
    All advertising uses glamour to sell. whether it's health insurance, seniors insurance, aged care, retirement homes or even a new car etc. That's the way it is & that's the way it will always be. I always look past the glamour BS & hardly ever notice it now unless it's been pointed out.
    With Jennie's comment I had to scroll to the top again to look. lol
    Dide
    30th Nov 2018
    1:20pm
    The issue which you completely ignore is the physical problem for older women in intercourse. You mention erectile dysfunction BUT FOR ME AND MY FEMALE FRIENDSvaginal pain and skin tearing makes intercourse impossible despite using all creams and medications. The total lack of mention of female physical situations makes your survey suspect.
    MareeIrene
    30th Nov 2018
    1:41pm
    Very true and totally agree !!
    TREBOR
    30th Nov 2018
    1:46pm
    Let me kiss it better for you... (oops)... umm.. let me re-phrase that... errr...
    Karl Marx
    30th Nov 2018
    2:34pm
    A lot of men DO understand the issues that women have as they get older & sexual relations doesn't mean penetration as men also suffer tears & pain if the woman isn't ready for intercourse.
    Most men I know want affection, to be touched, cuddled in bed or on the sofa, a bit of play, but sadly most women I know that have medical issues as you describe just shut the door & say no more.
    Read the books by Bettina Arndt or better still read them together with your partner as it will give you both a far better understanding of each other. Pleasure with a partner can be had dozens of different ways without intercourse or being painful.
    And sadly one of the biggest problems of lack of libido on both sides is antidepressants. Avoid at all costs as doctors are far too quick to prescribe them because you just feel down.
    MICK
    30th Nov 2018
    2:48pm
    Behave yourself TREBOR. I know its Friday but....chuckle.
    greenie
    2nd Dec 2018
    4:18pm
    'Let me kiss it...'
    Hilarious Trebor.
    Made my day. Thanks.
    Adrianus
    3rd Dec 2018
    9:45am
    Stop putting harmful soap down there.
    ronloby
    30th Nov 2018
    1:35pm
    It makes a difference to one's sexual attitude after Prostrate Cancer Treatment.
    MICK
    30th Nov 2018
    2:50pm
    Do any of the ladies know what a prostate is? Does not exist given that prostate cancer now kills more men than breast cancer kills women and the ladies never mention it when they talk about the most common cancer killers. Sorry. I'm on the soap box.
    TREBOR
    30th Nov 2018
    3:08pm
    A prostrate prostate is frustrate incarnate..not that I know from personal experience, but I can see how it could be.

    Even being a 'monk' in my old age due to carer duties does not reduce the willingness of the spirit..... even if the flesh is weak.... (arrgh! - no woman ever slept with me and lived! Yellowbeard).... though the apparent weakness of the flesh, possibly due to a long drought, does not inspire confidence in approaching any fine lass...

    There is no justice in life..... you forsake the pleasures of a 'normal family life' to be an astronaut or equivalent, and then you are just an old fogey trying for a dead stick landing....
    Charlie
    30th Nov 2018
    5:52pm
    Bladder and prostate cancer operations just about put an end to physical stuff.

    Chronic pain, drug treatments, cancer treatments will do you in mentally for having any cosmic orgasms.
    TREBOR
    30th Nov 2018
    7:12pm
    Heart medications tend to slow you down...
    MICK
    30th Nov 2018
    8:21pm
    Stop it Charlie....you're frightening me.
    Charlie
    30th Nov 2018
    8:59pm
    Well its a bit of a lottery really
    MareeIrene
    30th Nov 2018
    1:39pm
    When women are accused of losing interest in sex with their partner , a major factor is the partner who lets themselves go ,as in overweight , bad breath , drinking too much , smoking, snoring , farting , refusing to help with housework and then wonder why and complain to their mates about it .
    Karl Marx
    30th Nov 2018
    2:18pm
    Sad but true of a lot of relationships and I know females that fit into that category but they would be the minority.
    I know get told off for doing housework, but she's from a much different culture where men don't do that, the woman does. Now this might ruffle a few female feathers hey. lol
    MICK
    30th Nov 2018
    2:52pm
    Respectfully women have these attributes as well.
    TREBOR
    1st Dec 2018
    1:01am
    Separate bedrooms and visiting rights??
    BOLOGO
    30th Nov 2018
    3:00pm
    People's own self esteem regarding their own attractiveness is the biggest barrier to enjoying intimacy. Everyone enjoys the companionship and sensual touch of a caring companion. Enjoy our bodies. It's good for our mental and physical well being.
    TREBOR
    30th Nov 2018
    3:25pm
    True - teeth and stuff are pretty much an issue - especially for those of the 50's etc, and weight accumulation and even surgical scars can be very much a factor in reducing self-confidence - often especially for women.

    Trust me, girls - a real man doesn't care that much about such things.... we know what life is about.
    The Phonse
    30th Nov 2018
    3:27pm
    I wish the catholic church would allow masturbation, as its currently and always has been a serious sin.
    Bazbee
    30th Nov 2018
    4:47pm
    I'm sure that nobody here will tell if you keep quiet about it!
    Misty
    30th Nov 2018
    9:59pm
    Sorry but i had to chuckle at your comment Bazbee.
    Adrianus
    3rd Dec 2018
    10:26am
    Are you concerned that your daily trips to the confessional are raising suspicion.
    pedro the swift
    30th Nov 2018
    4:26pm
    The cathaholic church can go hang. What right have they to tell anyone what to do with their body? Anyway I believe the injunction is not "to spill your seed". so just collect it in ajar and take it to a sperm bank. The church will bless you for it!
    Charlie
    30th Nov 2018
    5:40pm
    Hmm.. Big percentage with body odour, bad teeth, angry and bad attitude. Kind of like old dog.
    It doesn't have to be that bad, but when nature decides you have had your day that's about the end of it.
    *Loloften*
    1st Dec 2018
    6:10am
    The love of my life (since we were both 16yo) passed away 9+yrs ago....can't imagine sex with anyone else coming even close to what we shared. Sex w/o real love seems primitive to me...if wanted it could do so alone altho' don't & don't miss it. I've had a few "advances" from strangers while out & abt with friends (compliments on my looks, apparently I still look attractive!!) but don't want 'em atho' polite & grateful to all.
    *Loloften*
    1st Dec 2018
    6:21am
    Nothing can replace loving cuddles from "departed" most loved spouse - altho' my dog loves cuddles too!!
    Franky
    1st Dec 2018
    11:59am
    Looking at the results, I feel that many people are fooling themselves. It is a natural part of life / nature to have diminished libido and less sex drive as we get older. Look at nature, of which we are a part. It's very clear, but our Western culture wants to deny it, as it's bad for business. We come into physical and reach our zenith of physicality around 30-40 years old After that we slowly go back to spirit, where the veil thins and we become more aware of our essential nature. Everything is cyclical in this world of duality. Love is more important as we got older than sex.
    greenie
    2nd Dec 2018
    4:24pm
    Amazing! At last, a decent article on this site and with excellent comments too. Wow!

    3rd Dec 2018
    9:16am
    Contrary to the stereotype of ageing, relatively few people end up on a park bench restricted by the mental and physical conditions that are supposed to go with attaining a certain age.

    If only respondents realised that the prevailing wrong perceptions of ageing impact severely on social policy and government planning and services affecting them. For instance, on city and transport planning (think about the importance of mobility to you as one important aspect) and obviously on aged care.

    The initiatives being taken in other countries such as the Netherlands and Ireland are a breath of fresh air. Perhaps some here might like to do some reading and (perish the thought) thinking for themselves.

    Australia does not have to reinvent the wheel. -Especially where cynical politicians and vested interests (for example entrepreneurs in retirement/care facilities) are allowed to speak for older people and cherry-pick data and 'solutions'(sic) to avoid necessary changes and to line pockets.
    Just to note that it is almost that time of the year again when Australian politicians again prove their love of international travel, using 'study tour', conference and other excuses to find their way to the top tourist centres.

    They go to conferences (eg The Hague) on designing aged friendly cities, but you never get to hear of any policy changes on their return. The pollies would have a jolly good time, while some bureaucrat gnome takes notes in their stead. But then, do any constituents ask or represent their own needs and expectations? Or are they satisfied with voting predictably and receiving more of the same disinterest from their chosen red, blue or green political bots?
    Believer
    10th Dec 2018
    1:53pm
    I find it very interesting that most of the comments are from men. It seems they all believe it is the woman's fault? I say take a look in the mirror and really think about how you go about foreplay? It takes a real man to admit he has changed to the point of understanding what women want. By 60 you should all know where you are going wrong?


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