Relationship expert Jo Lamble has some advice for Bert, who has just started a new relationship, but is facing opposition from the woman’s family.
I have just started a relationship with a woman named Betty whom I met through a friend. I have been divorced for quite some time, but she has only lost her husband in the last two years. Her family is very close and they disapprove of our relationship and it makes things awkward. I think she now feels uncomfortable about our relationship, but I don’t want to lose her. How can I make her children see we make each other happy?
A. It’s quite common for families to be over-protective after the death of a parent. They are no doubt still grieving and don’t want their mum to suffer any more pain. Your job is not to convince her children of anything. The idea is to let Betty know that you can see that her family loves her and you understand how much they mean to her. Tell her that you would never make her choose between you and her loved ones. Reassure her that you will give her plenty of time and space, but that you really care about her and don’t want to lose the relationship. If she feels validated and reassured, she should be able to keep seeing you without the pressure of having to commit to you or make a difficult decision.
Jo Lamble – www.jolamble.com.au
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