Anger affects us all in different ways. While some people are quick to become angry and seem to snap, others only start to feel anger after time has passed. Arguments are an inevitable part of any relationship, but learning how to negotiate and express your anger in a healthy way is essential for strong, enduring relationships.
Before you confront someone about your anger, try distracting yourself to see if it will pass. Expressing your anger in a healthy way prevents you from hurting yourself or someone else.
Why not try:
- doing some exercise
- punching a pillow
- screaming at an object, such as a tree
- confiding in someone you trust.
Find the cause of your anger
If you find yourself becoming angry over the same issue again and again, it may be time to talk to someone. A counsellor, doctor, social worker, psychologist or psychiatrist should be able to help. They will help you identify why you are angry and give you tools to manage your anger in a healthy way.
Learning to diffuse your anger
Relaxation is good for our mental health. Some techniques may help you to diffuse your anger, instead of confronting someone about an issue, so you can learn to let it go. Relaxation also gives us space to put things in perspective and see issues from another point of view.
You may be able to relax by:
- playing music or sitting quietly
- going for a walk in the park
- reading a book or watching a movie
- playing sport or going for a swim
- meditating or doing yoga
- taking a bath.
Why we have arguments
Everyone has arguments and they can arise for a number of reasons. Sometimes we may struggle to understand someone’s thoughts on an issue or identify with their values, goals or needs.
It’s helpful to:
- talk to the person in a calm and open way
- avoid approaching the person directly if they are violent or aggressive
- ask another person to act as mediator and offer an unbiased point of view.
Why we should deal with arguments
It’s important to resolve arguments, otherwise people may become confused, resentful or even unwell. All too often, relationships breakdown because arguments are left unresolved.
Successfully managing an argument can help to:
- bring people closer together and build stronger relationships
- give you a sense of achievement
- help you feel relaxed and healthier, able to sleep
- make you feel happier.
Contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 (24-hour counselling service) or visit ReachOut.com.
How do you deal with anger? Have you found any of the above techniques useful?
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